Wow. Been more than 100days since my last post in here.
Let me see 258 days hmm exactly 4months ago so it must be August when I had great Gangneung journey with Jun.
Well, back then I was only just promoted to Specialist so I could say I was super far off from my discharge date. Yet, I still thought being a specialist means being the top notch of the company. How petty.
Time really flew and today I am posting the last(most prolly) diary of 2017.
It is due to a specific event that could be highlight or turning-point of my life. On 26th December 2017, our family moved to a 3-room apartment flat after 7 years of living under monthly rental payments. It was a big jump. Those seven years in there, were joy yet sorrow. All of my shameful teenage memories and my family's memories lie in there. I remember studying Megastudy books that mom would force me to during summer breaks when I return to Korea for a month and practice football at Hwaseo primary school, which was just next to our house. I remember going through an outrageous time in 2012, when I was back here to prepare for my 2nd O-level exam. There were timeless fights and those were really the dark times. Yet, after all, this 7 years of memory in hwaseo-dong is a smile. It began with disappointment and ended with a scent of home.
Walking up to Sunkyung and Joongang library, taking direct buses to Gangnam/ Suwon and to Suwon worldcup stadium... this place would always remain in my heart.
So, here comes our Christmas gift. On 25th December 2017, just a day before our move, our family had a blessed meal time together at dad's favorite restaurant. We talked on and on unlike usual days and we were coming to some solutions from each others too. It sure was a ordinary family. That's what mattered.
And well today, 27th Dec, I plucked up the courage to ask mom and dad about me staying a year in Korea to widen my experience in football and like how mom always used to respond, the answer was no. Well, I am proud of myself that I accepted her opinion without grumbling. I accepted the fact that now, I can't only fight for my right anymore. It's time to start thinking as a family and show what's sacrifice. I am proud I could make those decisions that bring peace and bring a more hardworking me.
28th December, I would be in E.Daegu heading back to camp, probably feeling a little down. But well on the bright side there are not much days left before this dischargement. Look at that D-Day!!! I've only left 138 days! What a big jump from 500 days! This is truly amazing. The next 137 days be joyful, loyal, helping, kind, merciful, forgiving and loving.
Amen.
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Thursday, August 31, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-257
Been long!
I am here at this comfy room of my sister where I spent those holidays whenever I was serving in the army, being an insecure secondary school student and even now.
the last time I wrote a story was month ago. 315 days and now 257 going to head to break the 250 line. and the guilt is in me when I am writing this diary as I could feel that I have trouble typing in fluent English right now.
Although my last post was 7th of July, I only remember myself to be writing a post after the U-20 Worldcup ended. Just to compare what has changed from then to now, I've done more than 50% of my service, I've got to know and got closer to some of my junior soldiers, learned lifelong lessons like to understand another person's feelings(maybe not), not worrying too much, and trying to lead things to something positive.
And yeah, I got awkward with that one brother I was so close to. I am not overly sad about it but yet I was missing those times with him where I would have that ultimate fun in the bunk. As times pass, and as my thought that the way we got weird was very weird on his side, and seeing him getting along very well with other mates and I'm the only one he tried to avoid, I only grew mad at times. However, I reached the stage where I do not madly wish to get closer to him like last time as I began to accept the reality but will just see how things flow and do not go against the gravity of time.
And today I am here waiting for time to pass, so I could meet my bunk buddies for this big event, Korea vs Iran Worldcup qualifier R9. I am kind of the host for this outing as i wanted my mates to see with their eyes and enjoy what football is and also to support the dangered Korean team as a team! This outing could have got very unwilling for me if my vibe of sadness due to sandeul had continued to overwhelm me but i overcame it through positivity. Positivity is always the key.
Will be seeing Jun tmr morning for Gangeung trip and I know any trip with him would be awesome. Will enjoy what I have today and love the world.
I am here at this comfy room of my sister where I spent those holidays whenever I was serving in the army, being an insecure secondary school student and even now.
the last time I wrote a story was month ago. 315 days and now 257 going to head to break the 250 line. and the guilt is in me when I am writing this diary as I could feel that I have trouble typing in fluent English right now.
Although my last post was 7th of July, I only remember myself to be writing a post after the U-20 Worldcup ended. Just to compare what has changed from then to now, I've done more than 50% of my service, I've got to know and got closer to some of my junior soldiers, learned lifelong lessons like to understand another person's feelings(maybe not), not worrying too much, and trying to lead things to something positive.
And yeah, I got awkward with that one brother I was so close to. I am not overly sad about it but yet I was missing those times with him where I would have that ultimate fun in the bunk. As times pass, and as my thought that the way we got weird was very weird on his side, and seeing him getting along very well with other mates and I'm the only one he tried to avoid, I only grew mad at times. However, I reached the stage where I do not madly wish to get closer to him like last time as I began to accept the reality but will just see how things flow and do not go against the gravity of time.
And today I am here waiting for time to pass, so I could meet my bunk buddies for this big event, Korea vs Iran Worldcup qualifier R9. I am kind of the host for this outing as i wanted my mates to see with their eyes and enjoy what football is and also to support the dangered Korean team as a team! This outing could have got very unwilling for me if my vibe of sadness due to sandeul had continued to overwhelm me but i overcame it through positivity. Positivity is always the key.
Will be seeing Jun tmr morning for Gangeung trip and I know any trip with him would be awesome. Will enjoy what I have today and love the world.
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-314
Many things happened since my last post in this diary.
Well, one thing I realize is that I should be writing and posting in here more often. So there are things to look back after this long journey and also I could look back at myself for what I was today and reflect.
Well, I am a corporal now. I've got one more line on my badge. Three lines.
And yeah that also means that I've broke that 50% liner. I have done more days than the days I am left to do.
D-314 means I've done 323days.
Checking my ord days on naver, realized the last time when I tried to check in here beside jihoon was at my pfc days where I was happy to have completed 20% of it. I was glad that I've done 1/5 of the whole journey. Taking it as compared to my runs in my secondary school years where I used to run the whole Condominium for 10 rounds. I had completed the 2nd round back then.
Yeah, so time have truely passed some bit. Look at me. A private who would sit down in the payphone box crying out my prayer to lord, a private who sits down in a cubicle reading the words of a book that would comfort me down. A pfc who would have some bit issues with mates here and there at times and now I can't say all the problems I used to have in my previous days are gone but yet there are surely improvements in place.
Being a pfc on the very day before December, I thought to myself that being a pfc means I need to take in more responsibility and also have bigger heart to take in other people. That's the thought and objective I had in mind when I turned to be a pfc. Being a corporal, I want to be a person who could speak for the truth. I wanna be considerate, be nice to people, cut the jealousy and love 'em all and I want to say the truth. Talk the things that I could as a corporal. There would be people who couldn't dare to speak for they feel they are weak. It's time that as an old member of this group, that I got to say things that I feel is right to fight for the righteousness. Beinga corporal, also means that I got to be more humble and considerate for the others. Corporal is the last stage before turning to be a sergeant who would have very less seniors above. There could be thoughts rising up in me when I was in the midst stage of pfc to feel that I am aware of things in here and feel confident, lazy and relaxed. That's not right. Staying humble all the time is the key to every relationship.
I see things that are not seemingly right from ppl around me and is time that I make it right by performing it so myself.
Well, one thing I realize is that I should be writing and posting in here more often. So there are things to look back after this long journey and also I could look back at myself for what I was today and reflect.
Well, I am a corporal now. I've got one more line on my badge. Three lines.
And yeah that also means that I've broke that 50% liner. I have done more days than the days I am left to do.
D-314 means I've done 323days.
Checking my ord days on naver, realized the last time when I tried to check in here beside jihoon was at my pfc days where I was happy to have completed 20% of it. I was glad that I've done 1/5 of the whole journey. Taking it as compared to my runs in my secondary school years where I used to run the whole Condominium for 10 rounds. I had completed the 2nd round back then.
Yeah, so time have truely passed some bit. Look at me. A private who would sit down in the payphone box crying out my prayer to lord, a private who sits down in a cubicle reading the words of a book that would comfort me down. A pfc who would have some bit issues with mates here and there at times and now I can't say all the problems I used to have in my previous days are gone but yet there are surely improvements in place.
Being a pfc on the very day before December, I thought to myself that being a pfc means I need to take in more responsibility and also have bigger heart to take in other people. That's the thought and objective I had in mind when I turned to be a pfc. Being a corporal, I want to be a person who could speak for the truth. I wanna be considerate, be nice to people, cut the jealousy and love 'em all and I want to say the truth. Talk the things that I could as a corporal. There would be people who couldn't dare to speak for they feel they are weak. It's time that as an old member of this group, that I got to say things that I feel is right to fight for the righteousness. Beinga corporal, also means that I got to be more humble and considerate for the others. Corporal is the last stage before turning to be a sergeant who would have very less seniors above. There could be thoughts rising up in me when I was in the midst stage of pfc to feel that I am aware of things in here and feel confident, lazy and relaxed. That's not right. Staying humble all the time is the key to every relationship.
I see things that are not seemingly right from ppl around me and is time that I make it right by performing it so myself.
Sunday, June 11, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-338
So has the U-20 FIFA Worldcup come to an end. This was what i was looking forward to even before the enlistment. The first thought that came to me when I was confirmed of my enlistment was that I will be able to witness the live scenes of U-20 World Cup that is to take place in my home country. As there were much expectations for this huge tournament, the emptiness after the end of it is even bigger.
I spent 20 days of my holidays for this wonderful tournament. I watched 17 games in total out of 52 games being played. So I watched 1/3 of the games. This was such a wonderful experience for me. Being on the spot, made me to widen my horizons toward football. How the matches are being played, where the VIPs are and etc. I managed to take a lot of selfies with the celebrities like my dream super star Lee Youngpyo, Cha Duri, Heo Jungmoo, Jurgen Klinsman, his daughter and son, some of the USA stars and the fans of participating countries. While watching matches, I had such a wonderful time recording down and writing down my thoughts on it to think and learn and open my sights to football. Watching various matches helped me being able to spot out the strategy, formation and team tactics. Pre-studying which players were the key man and as the tourney proceeded, I began to be familiar with players in teams. Especially, team England was the team that I watched the most game by 4 games, helping me to be so familiar with the team and as an award of that, I even got a jersey from the coach. That was one wonderful memory.
Going town to town was wonderful too. I always wanted to visit various stadiums in different cities and thanks to the hosting cities, I managed to visit Jeonju, Daejeon, Cheonan and Incheon stadium for the first time. Amongst all, Jeonju Worldcup stadium was the most memorable and remembered as happy memories. When there were several games held in a day I will choose to go to Jeonju with no doubt. Jeonju was that special to me. The first time I dropped there for Guinea vs Korea with Jun, we realized the girls there were so friendly to visitors. That was amazing. Food were amazing and there were the atmosphere of festival in there. The sights of hundreds of people wearing hanbok and doing the traditional dance at the hall was such a memory for me. Great win against Guinea to start off the first round of this tournament for Korea Republic. I visited there again when I dropped to watch England vs Costa Rica. I could have gone to watch other matches but I knew it could be last time me witnessing the Costa Rican team so I did not hesitate to choose to go to Jeonju and I was right for sure. When I took this bus 101 at Girin park, I saw this lady sitting alone wearing her FIFA card and I did not hesitate to ask whether she was going to the worldcup stadium. We talked about football and we became friends. It was amazing that I managed to see her again when I visited jeonju the third time in the bus. How amazing it is. She acknowledged her destiny and shared me her namecard. She was such a friendly person to get me around in Jeonju. She seemed like she was goal-minded and I am sure she will be successful as a football fan. Having food in jeonju was so amazing that they were nice and the gamjatang restaurant in front of the lan shop was amazing. The auntie gave me more rice to eat and she meant it.
Other stadiums were amazing too but well yeah that Cheonan was a little hard to get and the stadium's atmosphere wasn't that favorable and Daejeon stadium do not leave much memories to me but it just wasn't a memorable memory for me. Incheon was amazing though. That closeness between the pitch and the stand made people take photos with the players.
So this memory of me, searching the key players before heading to matches, getting down to the stadium an hour before to check out the events going around outside the stadium, getting the ticket pretending to be a middle school student, sitting down near the VIP seats just to take photos with the celebrities and football people.
When I enter the stadium, the music will be being played, Work hard Play Hard these songs and the other pop songs while the players will come out and warm up. When it's 34minutes before the kick-off the screen will show highlights of 2015 New Zealand U-20 worldcup and then the silence fills the stadium and the announcer will welcome the people to the stadium for this match and when it is just 30 minutes before kick off they will announce the starting XI. Highlights of the current worldcup and the M/V for this U-20 which is 'Trigger the Fever' by NCT Dream will be played and when its 11 minutes before kick-off, this serious song will be played and the players will start to enter. People will start to settle down and clap for the players. At half-time people will go around to get food and I will be busy trying to get photos with the VIPs. Those were amazing memories I had. It indeed widened my horizons to see football. This report that I am working on, will surely be an instrument to make me grow further. I've seen people who were sharing same dreams as me and how hard-working they had been. it's time for me to set my goals again look up and run towards it.
The end of this world cup would leave a little blankness in me but surely, there would be things to look out for and the thought of me having to learn so much and experience so much that is clearly just what I had needed. This 20 days of long holidays wasn't as how I wanted as u know I was weird with family, i just didn't wanna get involved although I think I might not had a choice and I was a little obsessed with trying to talk to girls and stuff but yeah if those were experiences i guess that's fine and maybe I could learn from it too. And clearly I made a lesson that things come and go.
U-20 worldcup has clearly 'Triggered the Fever' for me.
I did get a good rest in here enjoying my moments its time to get back and do my best to serve my country.
Trigger the Fever.
I spent 20 days of my holidays for this wonderful tournament. I watched 17 games in total out of 52 games being played. So I watched 1/3 of the games. This was such a wonderful experience for me. Being on the spot, made me to widen my horizons toward football. How the matches are being played, where the VIPs are and etc. I managed to take a lot of selfies with the celebrities like my dream super star Lee Youngpyo, Cha Duri, Heo Jungmoo, Jurgen Klinsman, his daughter and son, some of the USA stars and the fans of participating countries. While watching matches, I had such a wonderful time recording down and writing down my thoughts on it to think and learn and open my sights to football. Watching various matches helped me being able to spot out the strategy, formation and team tactics. Pre-studying which players were the key man and as the tourney proceeded, I began to be familiar with players in teams. Especially, team England was the team that I watched the most game by 4 games, helping me to be so familiar with the team and as an award of that, I even got a jersey from the coach. That was one wonderful memory.
Going town to town was wonderful too. I always wanted to visit various stadiums in different cities and thanks to the hosting cities, I managed to visit Jeonju, Daejeon, Cheonan and Incheon stadium for the first time. Amongst all, Jeonju Worldcup stadium was the most memorable and remembered as happy memories. When there were several games held in a day I will choose to go to Jeonju with no doubt. Jeonju was that special to me. The first time I dropped there for Guinea vs Korea with Jun, we realized the girls there were so friendly to visitors. That was amazing. Food were amazing and there were the atmosphere of festival in there. The sights of hundreds of people wearing hanbok and doing the traditional dance at the hall was such a memory for me. Great win against Guinea to start off the first round of this tournament for Korea Republic. I visited there again when I dropped to watch England vs Costa Rica. I could have gone to watch other matches but I knew it could be last time me witnessing the Costa Rican team so I did not hesitate to choose to go to Jeonju and I was right for sure. When I took this bus 101 at Girin park, I saw this lady sitting alone wearing her FIFA card and I did not hesitate to ask whether she was going to the worldcup stadium. We talked about football and we became friends. It was amazing that I managed to see her again when I visited jeonju the third time in the bus. How amazing it is. She acknowledged her destiny and shared me her namecard. She was such a friendly person to get me around in Jeonju. She seemed like she was goal-minded and I am sure she will be successful as a football fan. Having food in jeonju was so amazing that they were nice and the gamjatang restaurant in front of the lan shop was amazing. The auntie gave me more rice to eat and she meant it.
Other stadiums were amazing too but well yeah that Cheonan was a little hard to get and the stadium's atmosphere wasn't that favorable and Daejeon stadium do not leave much memories to me but it just wasn't a memorable memory for me. Incheon was amazing though. That closeness between the pitch and the stand made people take photos with the players.
So this memory of me, searching the key players before heading to matches, getting down to the stadium an hour before to check out the events going around outside the stadium, getting the ticket pretending to be a middle school student, sitting down near the VIP seats just to take photos with the celebrities and football people.
When I enter the stadium, the music will be being played, Work hard Play Hard these songs and the other pop songs while the players will come out and warm up. When it's 34minutes before the kick-off the screen will show highlights of 2015 New Zealand U-20 worldcup and then the silence fills the stadium and the announcer will welcome the people to the stadium for this match and when it is just 30 minutes before kick off they will announce the starting XI. Highlights of the current worldcup and the M/V for this U-20 which is 'Trigger the Fever' by NCT Dream will be played and when its 11 minutes before kick-off, this serious song will be played and the players will start to enter. People will start to settle down and clap for the players. At half-time people will go around to get food and I will be busy trying to get photos with the VIPs. Those were amazing memories I had. It indeed widened my horizons to see football. This report that I am working on, will surely be an instrument to make me grow further. I've seen people who were sharing same dreams as me and how hard-working they had been. it's time for me to set my goals again look up and run towards it.
The end of this world cup would leave a little blankness in me but surely, there would be things to look out for and the thought of me having to learn so much and experience so much that is clearly just what I had needed. This 20 days of long holidays wasn't as how I wanted as u know I was weird with family, i just didn't wanna get involved although I think I might not had a choice and I was a little obsessed with trying to talk to girls and stuff but yeah if those were experiences i guess that's fine and maybe I could learn from it too. And clearly I made a lesson that things come and go.
U-20 worldcup has clearly 'Triggered the Fever' for me.
I did get a good rest in here enjoying my moments its time to get back and do my best to serve my country.
Trigger the Fever.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-354
It's been some time since I last wrote in this diary.
Yes, things have changed a lot.
I mean well the time I guess surely changed.
The last time when I was jotting down in here it was D-378 and now 24 days have passed, almost a month and during this time, I broke that D-365, the one year wall.
Well, I was counting for that very 15th of May this year, as this would mark my D-1year anniversary. Things will be much different in Next year's 15th May when it marks the end of my service.
Past few days back in camp, things had been a little confusing for me. Like you know, I sit down in my bunk, it's not like I get left out or feel bad in camp but it was about all the questions that brother Sandeul would throw, tantrums Dae eun will throw at times and you know me hating Jaemin sometimes for his weird behaviors. Surprisingly, I had no troubles with Kwanghyun. I mean, its really God's blessings that he allowed me to love him again. I hope that this love will be a dove to start loving all creatures.
So I needed a break. Realizing myself acting weird or somewhat arrogant made me realize I needed to reflect myself and look through again. It's like there is this vacuum state of being in me. This comes when I maybe have no true loyalty. I am not loyal to my mom I guess. After that very incident on my last holiday, I just don't feel perfectly comfortable or love her as much.
Well, I do know there is a key in forgiving but I am grown up and it is no longer her duty to make me better or console me.
After my first leave(out of the big 4 U-20 vacations) to Jeonju, as I returned back there was this feeling that why do I have to stay here when I am leaving so soon and for so long. It does make people not loyal to what I was up to and a little senseless.
So this break was quite I can say needed. I needed some fresh air, loneliness and some good time of football which I would always love to be related.
However, this holiday may seem like it's going a little off. The main purpose of this holiday was to get some fresh air watch football and relieve myself but you see, downloading tinder to get girls to chat with and walking around seeing girls and hoping to get hooked and etc. those are not very desirable. You see, we've been through this moments back in Singapore where all I would do is to tinder and play FIFA at home. Those were a little off. What if I could have done something more meaningful back then. What if I look back myself 10 years down the road and see and feel that what if I could have done this during the U-20 worldcup period in Korea where it only happens once in lifetime.
Well so here is my point in here. I hope I do make full use of this holiday. Get great enjoyment and be relieved too. I think is pretty normal that I want to find girls but hope it just doesn't affect the other things that I want to do and will regret not doing.
Thanks for living up this wonderful day
Enjoy and have an awesome day today!
Thank God.
Amen.
Yes, things have changed a lot.
I mean well the time I guess surely changed.
The last time when I was jotting down in here it was D-378 and now 24 days have passed, almost a month and during this time, I broke that D-365, the one year wall.
Well, I was counting for that very 15th of May this year, as this would mark my D-1year anniversary. Things will be much different in Next year's 15th May when it marks the end of my service.
Past few days back in camp, things had been a little confusing for me. Like you know, I sit down in my bunk, it's not like I get left out or feel bad in camp but it was about all the questions that brother Sandeul would throw, tantrums Dae eun will throw at times and you know me hating Jaemin sometimes for his weird behaviors. Surprisingly, I had no troubles with Kwanghyun. I mean, its really God's blessings that he allowed me to love him again. I hope that this love will be a dove to start loving all creatures.
So I needed a break. Realizing myself acting weird or somewhat arrogant made me realize I needed to reflect myself and look through again. It's like there is this vacuum state of being in me. This comes when I maybe have no true loyalty. I am not loyal to my mom I guess. After that very incident on my last holiday, I just don't feel perfectly comfortable or love her as much.
Well, I do know there is a key in forgiving but I am grown up and it is no longer her duty to make me better or console me.
After my first leave(out of the big 4 U-20 vacations) to Jeonju, as I returned back there was this feeling that why do I have to stay here when I am leaving so soon and for so long. It does make people not loyal to what I was up to and a little senseless.
So this break was quite I can say needed. I needed some fresh air, loneliness and some good time of football which I would always love to be related.
However, this holiday may seem like it's going a little off. The main purpose of this holiday was to get some fresh air watch football and relieve myself but you see, downloading tinder to get girls to chat with and walking around seeing girls and hoping to get hooked and etc. those are not very desirable. You see, we've been through this moments back in Singapore where all I would do is to tinder and play FIFA at home. Those were a little off. What if I could have done something more meaningful back then. What if I look back myself 10 years down the road and see and feel that what if I could have done this during the U-20 worldcup period in Korea where it only happens once in lifetime.
Well so here is my point in here. I hope I do make full use of this holiday. Get great enjoyment and be relieved too. I think is pretty normal that I want to find girls but hope it just doesn't affect the other things that I want to do and will regret not doing.
Thanks for living up this wonderful day
Enjoy and have an awesome day today!
Thank God.
Amen.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-378
So here is another spot that I find is the most comfortable place ever in my Korean house. I am now down to like two hours before my train to E. Daegu and I am summing up this 4 days holiday I was given.
Yeah, this clearly was an unexpected holiday. I mean, I knew I would be able to spend a day at home for a 2days 1night thing but didn't know my father would go out and dance with my platoon leader to help me get a 4days and 3night holidays. I was so lucky to get this reward. I mean, although I didn't know what to do or could have felt that this 4days could be a waste since it would be included in the 18 days of rewarding holidays given, it was indeed somewhat worthy.
Other than anything, it was the time that made me feel the value of family. Seeing dad and mom smile and seeing them having been improved so much in their relationship do make me feel warm too. They've become so much closer than any other time. Dad going in front to do it for me and etc. and me preparing for my parents a song by Kim Gunmo since mom loves that song, although i didn't get to present up front, it was clearly a great experience trying to do something for mom and dad. I mean, I have no fear. I do what I do so I wouldn't regret. I tried it so I am going to do what I could do in this limited time of my and my parents' lives.
As we got home, we went to this Dak Galbi house as dad loved it and had a meal and dad and mom seemed so happy. Got home using my laptop and tried to find out what I would do the next 3 days. I tried to watch a lot of movies and spend time with family and Jun too.
Although, I felt that the only time I could possibly spend time with family was weekends, so I cancelled appointments with Jun, it was worth while. We went out to the temple to pray and saw our new house. It was never a waste of time. Going to temple during my leave is so worthy now. I got to learn those traditions regardless of my own religion to respect my parents' religion.
After game, we got to E-mart that my family used to visit when we were all still in Korea. It was memories indeed. We looked around checking out and seeing the strcuture of the building, I mean yes it was so much different yet I could see some of the places that had the little me in there.
Dad and I rushed to the Suwon Sports Complex to watch the K-league challenge match against Daejeon. It was another blessing for me to be able to catch this game as I couldn't have watched this game if I didn't get my holidays. It was my first time watching a K-league challenge and Suwon FC's match. Suwon FC used to attract me since long ago for they were doing well in the national league and they succeeded in the Challenge and Classic with their successful manager Cho Duk Je.
Waiting outside the stadium, there was a kick ball and getting the entrance tickets to the U-20 world cup and I took it for my parents to watch.
Then, I went in to the stadium. It was beautiful. The goal net was in Suwon FC's traditional color blue and red. And the supporters had their own seatings on the track as the supporters seat was pretty far away.
What made me love this team was that the atmosphere was like family. No vulgar or no fightings in here but very peaceful. There were disabled kids in front me and dad and they were screaming for Suwon FC. Also, at the entrance, the person checking the ticket and giving out the flyers seemed like mom and her son. The whole team was like ran by family. It made me feel like a family team.
The game was wonderful, we won 3-1 and all goals were fantastic.
I got to watch my favorable player Baik Sung Dong's play too.
On a third day, I spent my time at home enjoying and had a walk to Sunkyung Library that had the most of my memories in Korea. Walking and seeing the scenery and sitting down at the bench in the library, it was so beautiful. It was such a beauty. Seeing the flowers in green and red and resting myself and remembering all those moments that had gone through me during those hard times. It was wonderful. I realized, my memories in Korea is this place.
Getting in to the libray, I checked out some of the places and left to eat at my favourite bunsik place called Elephant bunsik but only to realize that it was gone. It wasn' there anymore. It was pretty sad but i just decided to have my meal right beside and walked to get a cab to E. Suwon CGV. I watched two movies Founder and Dancer. Dancer was super boring as it was a documentary movie. I wondered why there were so many people watching this movie.
Then, I rode on my dad's car to the restaurant to meet my uncles and auntie. It was a special meeting. I mean i never know when I could see them again. As the meeting ended and when first auntie grabbed my hand to bid farewell, I saw her wrinkles on her face and yes, it hit me hard that she was old. We all were getting old. Even my dad mom sis we all growing up. We are no longer 40s, 50s or our age like before. I never know when would be my last.
Got home and mom was a little furious as usual that I didn't book my ticket to E. Daegu. She would get furious as usual when things don't work out as she planned but yeah you know, I tried to calm myself trying to think positive so that there could be an improvement in me. But yeah, when she was like crossing the line that I felt, I got mad too that I could have said anything I would want to curse. Well, I don't know but after all we are family and we all do make mistakes. What I learned in army is that we all are different and we all got to learn to live together with each other. I guess I could apply that in here.
Forgive and move on.
Well yeah, and now it's 2pm and I am down to like an hour and a half before my train.
I thank God for this wonderful 4 days of leave and want to share my blessings to the surroundings.
Thank God for this day.
Amen.
Yeah, this clearly was an unexpected holiday. I mean, I knew I would be able to spend a day at home for a 2days 1night thing but didn't know my father would go out and dance with my platoon leader to help me get a 4days and 3night holidays. I was so lucky to get this reward. I mean, although I didn't know what to do or could have felt that this 4days could be a waste since it would be included in the 18 days of rewarding holidays given, it was indeed somewhat worthy.
Other than anything, it was the time that made me feel the value of family. Seeing dad and mom smile and seeing them having been improved so much in their relationship do make me feel warm too. They've become so much closer than any other time. Dad going in front to do it for me and etc. and me preparing for my parents a song by Kim Gunmo since mom loves that song, although i didn't get to present up front, it was clearly a great experience trying to do something for mom and dad. I mean, I have no fear. I do what I do so I wouldn't regret. I tried it so I am going to do what I could do in this limited time of my and my parents' lives.
As we got home, we went to this Dak Galbi house as dad loved it and had a meal and dad and mom seemed so happy. Got home using my laptop and tried to find out what I would do the next 3 days. I tried to watch a lot of movies and spend time with family and Jun too.
Although, I felt that the only time I could possibly spend time with family was weekends, so I cancelled appointments with Jun, it was worth while. We went out to the temple to pray and saw our new house. It was never a waste of time. Going to temple during my leave is so worthy now. I got to learn those traditions regardless of my own religion to respect my parents' religion.
After game, we got to E-mart that my family used to visit when we were all still in Korea. It was memories indeed. We looked around checking out and seeing the strcuture of the building, I mean yes it was so much different yet I could see some of the places that had the little me in there.
Dad and I rushed to the Suwon Sports Complex to watch the K-league challenge match against Daejeon. It was another blessing for me to be able to catch this game as I couldn't have watched this game if I didn't get my holidays. It was my first time watching a K-league challenge and Suwon FC's match. Suwon FC used to attract me since long ago for they were doing well in the national league and they succeeded in the Challenge and Classic with their successful manager Cho Duk Je.
Waiting outside the stadium, there was a kick ball and getting the entrance tickets to the U-20 world cup and I took it for my parents to watch.
Then, I went in to the stadium. It was beautiful. The goal net was in Suwon FC's traditional color blue and red. And the supporters had their own seatings on the track as the supporters seat was pretty far away.
What made me love this team was that the atmosphere was like family. No vulgar or no fightings in here but very peaceful. There were disabled kids in front me and dad and they were screaming for Suwon FC. Also, at the entrance, the person checking the ticket and giving out the flyers seemed like mom and her son. The whole team was like ran by family. It made me feel like a family team.
The game was wonderful, we won 3-1 and all goals were fantastic.
I got to watch my favorable player Baik Sung Dong's play too.
On a third day, I spent my time at home enjoying and had a walk to Sunkyung Library that had the most of my memories in Korea. Walking and seeing the scenery and sitting down at the bench in the library, it was so beautiful. It was such a beauty. Seeing the flowers in green and red and resting myself and remembering all those moments that had gone through me during those hard times. It was wonderful. I realized, my memories in Korea is this place.
Getting in to the libray, I checked out some of the places and left to eat at my favourite bunsik place called Elephant bunsik but only to realize that it was gone. It wasn' there anymore. It was pretty sad but i just decided to have my meal right beside and walked to get a cab to E. Suwon CGV. I watched two movies Founder and Dancer. Dancer was super boring as it was a documentary movie. I wondered why there were so many people watching this movie.
Then, I rode on my dad's car to the restaurant to meet my uncles and auntie. It was a special meeting. I mean i never know when I could see them again. As the meeting ended and when first auntie grabbed my hand to bid farewell, I saw her wrinkles on her face and yes, it hit me hard that she was old. We all were getting old. Even my dad mom sis we all growing up. We are no longer 40s, 50s or our age like before. I never know when would be my last.
Got home and mom was a little furious as usual that I didn't book my ticket to E. Daegu. She would get furious as usual when things don't work out as she planned but yeah you know, I tried to calm myself trying to think positive so that there could be an improvement in me. But yeah, when she was like crossing the line that I felt, I got mad too that I could have said anything I would want to curse. Well, I don't know but after all we are family and we all do make mistakes. What I learned in army is that we all are different and we all got to learn to live together with each other. I guess I could apply that in here.
Forgive and move on.
Well yeah, and now it's 2pm and I am down to like an hour and a half before my train.
I thank God for this wonderful 4 days of leave and want to share my blessings to the surroundings.
Thank God for this day.
Amen.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-392
So yeah, here comes another day of me typing out my story in this blog on this very night.
Well. my feelings.. Hmm I do not know. But yeah there are challenges all the time but its really about how I could control them and settle myself to be a settled stronger person I am.
Like you know at times when there are sports events and where there are time that I could be at fault there are times where I get on the edge of the sword, (well thats how I may feel but it may not be exactly that way) I do feel nervous and a little bit annoyed. Very annoyed at times actually.
Like when we played jokgu yesterday with my mates and some others, it was a little annoying for me at start as I wasn't trained properly and couldn't receive balls and stuff and it was a little hard playing as people got on my nerves although those could be just for fun and stuff. Yeah, I am learning to deal and they are solved when I be postiive so are fine.
There could be some moody days where I just don't want to be with these people him and who and I've learned to deal with such situations. Just be nice don't saybad things when I do not have anything good to say and rest. Just let that mood swing away as they are lovely after all. That's one thing I learned to deal in here.
And yeah, had a good time playing jokgu, I mean I put a point in learning all the time. My sadness that I couldn't play any further as the rain was too heavy.
Got back and was bathing just when corp Yoon came in to ask for change of duty timing. I was having such a lovely time tomorrow morning and he wanted to change that and i was a little unreasonable. I refused to do so but I felt a little guilty not helping him out. He even bought me a cheeetos at P.X and he is my platoon senior. Yeah, so I went to the duty plan sheet to see if I could find any way out for him and that was just when he came in to give some knocks and shits and yeah I didn't feel good as he was keep hitting and kicking. It wasn't like thosestrong punches but still I didn't feel good about it. It was good that I told him to stop firmly and well I am learning to deal with different people and I guess it is meaningful that I could learn and also learn to forget about such incidents as after all thinking rewinding of such incidents do not help after all.
Once again, I am back in here in this place. I will not forget the day I am having in here andI will not let go the time that I get in here either. I thank God that yesterday when I went to seminar room to study, i managed to finish what I wanted to, even though I wasn't in a very good mood.
Thank God for making me alive, please let others feel alive too and know you.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Well. my feelings.. Hmm I do not know. But yeah there are challenges all the time but its really about how I could control them and settle myself to be a settled stronger person I am.
Like you know at times when there are sports events and where there are time that I could be at fault there are times where I get on the edge of the sword, (well thats how I may feel but it may not be exactly that way) I do feel nervous and a little bit annoyed. Very annoyed at times actually.
Like when we played jokgu yesterday with my mates and some others, it was a little annoying for me at start as I wasn't trained properly and couldn't receive balls and stuff and it was a little hard playing as people got on my nerves although those could be just for fun and stuff. Yeah, I am learning to deal and they are solved when I be postiive so are fine.
There could be some moody days where I just don't want to be with these people him and who and I've learned to deal with such situations. Just be nice don't saybad things when I do not have anything good to say and rest. Just let that mood swing away as they are lovely after all. That's one thing I learned to deal in here.
And yeah, had a good time playing jokgu, I mean I put a point in learning all the time. My sadness that I couldn't play any further as the rain was too heavy.
Got back and was bathing just when corp Yoon came in to ask for change of duty timing. I was having such a lovely time tomorrow morning and he wanted to change that and i was a little unreasonable. I refused to do so but I felt a little guilty not helping him out. He even bought me a cheeetos at P.X and he is my platoon senior. Yeah, so I went to the duty plan sheet to see if I could find any way out for him and that was just when he came in to give some knocks and shits and yeah I didn't feel good as he was keep hitting and kicking. It wasn't like thosestrong punches but still I didn't feel good about it. It was good that I told him to stop firmly and well I am learning to deal with different people and I guess it is meaningful that I could learn and also learn to forget about such incidents as after all thinking rewinding of such incidents do not help after all.
Once again, I am back in here in this place. I will not forget the day I am having in here andI will not let go the time that I get in here either. I thank God that yesterday when I went to seminar room to study, i managed to finish what I wanted to, even though I wasn't in a very good mood.
Thank God for making me alive, please let others feel alive too and know you.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-394
Been such a long time since my last post in here.
There was some eleven days gap ever since I last posted in here. I am now using different keyboard different venue and monitor here in Daegu typing out my 394th story. And Yes! I've broke my 400 wall. May the rest of my army life and 300 line be a more positive, learning and caring ones and also more mature one as an adult, a fcl and a senior.
Yeah, I guess time has really flew ever since I enlisted. I mean, there were times when I was merely a private who would want to be cared by the seniors and was a new experience and an awkward experience for me to care for the juniors but yet look at me now. Although I love interacting with the seniors, I do love the time I spend with my juniors because I am learning to be comfortable with my juniors.
Well, these are due to the thankful people I have. What a great bosses in my logistics office who inspire me to become a person who I'd want to be and also make me care-free of my life in this platoon. My mate and senoirs in this 6th platoon who give me no worries but joy. And there comes my bunk mates who I'd rather say I feel sorry and thankful than anyone else. They take me for who I am and they are willing to be in there for me. Well, not sure how I am so sulky today towards my mates when I am having an outing right now here at the Dongsung ro.
It was a sulky morning ever since I woke up this morning. As I got up, there was this feeling in the air that I wanted to be cared and be interested to others for. I don't know why but fear was in the air. Uncertainty overwhelmed. And yeah. Maybe along the process of forming ideas on how this outing would be like among my mates Yohan, Jaemin and Jihoon, there did present some conflicts, such as what transporation medium should we be taking and also like what we are going to do when we get there. And yeah we got out and my feelings was a little bit worried. Well, I did try to control my mood trying to think positively and praying but yeah it sure was hard to get through a little but yeah I am trying to hold myself in here.
After all, I do know that this short time would never be back again. So i be thankful for this moment in here. As I do not know when this would come again with these people, at this moment and all.
So once again I thank God for this blessed day.
I pray.. and
Amen.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-405
Well, there are reasons for me getting down here at the cyber room right after my futsal and dinner.
There were some things that I had to clear in my mind in order for me to move on more clearly and well yeah with light heart.
I had to jot down some stuff.
Like you know, what had happened today and maybe recently.
I think it is wrong that I behave wrong to people.
Especially if I have the wrong reasons.
When Hyunjoon asked me why I was behaving weird to him recently during the duty last night, I felt so awkward during that moments.
I didn't want to tell him the true reason of to what had happened. It wasn't of his faults but more to my thinking. It was the mixture of thoughts that made me into such.
And yeah, maybe it's not just him that I tend to act wrong in my life. There were lots of moments in my life and its not just my outside life but also in here. I treated some people differently at times due to my mixture of too much overly thinkings.
Those thoughts do make me to feel angry because those are the thoughts that I am creating in my mind. Those do not make sense, yet the thinking process in me do make it in a way that it is really like that.
I hope i could start thinking less and maybe start liking people more.
And yeah, well today, it was those times a little while that I start making up my minds in me and start judging people and going through so much mixture of feelings which aren't actually necessary. I guess those are really not helpful for me.
Playing futsal today was hard for me too. It is the pressure of people that they would laugh on me when my touches or shoots go wrong. It was a little pressurizing and stressful too. It's like futsal became something stressful for me now. Talking and interacting with seniors like Corp Char and Jung was getting harder and harder and also I fonded how wooyoung hyung would so well make fun and hang out with people with such laughter. I guess that's what the true joy of futsal gathering for friendlies should be like. I know that people do that or laugh because I am getting loved or so but yeah it was hard for me getting some of the criticism like you know when Corp lim came down scolding vulgar and stuff it was yeah a little hard for me to accept as when he did that it did hurt. But yeah it's true that I do take in words too harshly at times. Like take it in as some serious matters at times. It's okay if I knock it away with it.
Well, I had one hard day today but I know there are brighter days to come in life. That's why I am alright with it and I can move on because I can learn from these.
I am fine with today.
I am eventually going to get better and learn after all.
I thank God for this day and hope I could apply my lessons.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
There were some things that I had to clear in my mind in order for me to move on more clearly and well yeah with light heart.
I had to jot down some stuff.
Like you know, what had happened today and maybe recently.
I think it is wrong that I behave wrong to people.
Especially if I have the wrong reasons.
When Hyunjoon asked me why I was behaving weird to him recently during the duty last night, I felt so awkward during that moments.
I didn't want to tell him the true reason of to what had happened. It wasn't of his faults but more to my thinking. It was the mixture of thoughts that made me into such.
And yeah, maybe it's not just him that I tend to act wrong in my life. There were lots of moments in my life and its not just my outside life but also in here. I treated some people differently at times due to my mixture of too much overly thinkings.
Those thoughts do make me to feel angry because those are the thoughts that I am creating in my mind. Those do not make sense, yet the thinking process in me do make it in a way that it is really like that.
I hope i could start thinking less and maybe start liking people more.
And yeah, well today, it was those times a little while that I start making up my minds in me and start judging people and going through so much mixture of feelings which aren't actually necessary. I guess those are really not helpful for me.
Playing futsal today was hard for me too. It is the pressure of people that they would laugh on me when my touches or shoots go wrong. It was a little pressurizing and stressful too. It's like futsal became something stressful for me now. Talking and interacting with seniors like Corp Char and Jung was getting harder and harder and also I fonded how wooyoung hyung would so well make fun and hang out with people with such laughter. I guess that's what the true joy of futsal gathering for friendlies should be like. I know that people do that or laugh because I am getting loved or so but yeah it was hard for me getting some of the criticism like you know when Corp lim came down scolding vulgar and stuff it was yeah a little hard for me to accept as when he did that it did hurt. But yeah it's true that I do take in words too harshly at times. Like take it in as some serious matters at times. It's okay if I knock it away with it.
Well, I had one hard day today but I know there are brighter days to come in life. That's why I am alright with it and I can move on because I can learn from these.
I am fine with today.
I am eventually going to get better and learn after all.
I thank God for this day and hope I could apply my lessons.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-408
What a long time it had been almost been about a week not writing my story in here.
Well well not sure how my status was like back when I had written my latest story in here things have passed and time flows and yes we move on.
Right now, I guess major events would be that I lost a game for my bunk at starcraft and futsal competition. Starcraft was just for fun so it was alright but when I lost that futsal match it made me feel like losing becoming a sort of habit in me. I didn't want to admit but I took this futsal tournament a little seriously than others would. I mean, my form was coming up and I did want to prove to people how I could play better as a team. Especially with memories of me winning 5 streaks in futsal when we had like 18 people that night, that memory did help me feel like I could do this too as a team again.
It did not turn out to be the same like that night. It was a little different. I was trying to prove a point rather than enjoying as a team. It did not matter whether we would win or not though. I mean i meant it when i said i only hope we could enjoy this game. Lose was pretty serious. It was a heavy loss of 3goals difference. 2-1 was okay in the first half of it but conceding two straight goals at the start of the 2nd half was crucial. It did make us feel daunted.
After that day, it was like I lost something in my life. All that I had been looking out for through the past weeks had just gone like that in a loss. A heavy lose.
Playing futsal with seniors yesterday didn't give me much joy too. I couldn't enjoy to full. Well I know time would solve these either.
Well, after that day I was a little reluctant that I was talking so slowly and being a little needy and clingy. Yeah i was indeed. A little far from being the active and bright. Also, was a little different in behavior when especially Yang would prefer to talk to other guys than I did. Okay this does sound really gay but yeah I was a little disappointed that compared to how much I liked him it was not the same amount of love I received. But its true yeah that when people do have different behaviors in relationships. It does not matter whether they or he likes other people more or not it is about how much I do for the people. That's what matters the most and how I stay up right as a person. After all, I learn.
Thank God for this lovely day
Ane Amen.
Well well not sure how my status was like back when I had written my latest story in here things have passed and time flows and yes we move on.
Right now, I guess major events would be that I lost a game for my bunk at starcraft and futsal competition. Starcraft was just for fun so it was alright but when I lost that futsal match it made me feel like losing becoming a sort of habit in me. I didn't want to admit but I took this futsal tournament a little seriously than others would. I mean, my form was coming up and I did want to prove to people how I could play better as a team. Especially with memories of me winning 5 streaks in futsal when we had like 18 people that night, that memory did help me feel like I could do this too as a team again.
It did not turn out to be the same like that night. It was a little different. I was trying to prove a point rather than enjoying as a team. It did not matter whether we would win or not though. I mean i meant it when i said i only hope we could enjoy this game. Lose was pretty serious. It was a heavy loss of 3goals difference. 2-1 was okay in the first half of it but conceding two straight goals at the start of the 2nd half was crucial. It did make us feel daunted.
After that day, it was like I lost something in my life. All that I had been looking out for through the past weeks had just gone like that in a loss. A heavy lose.
Playing futsal with seniors yesterday didn't give me much joy too. I couldn't enjoy to full. Well I know time would solve these either.
Well, after that day I was a little reluctant that I was talking so slowly and being a little needy and clingy. Yeah i was indeed. A little far from being the active and bright. Also, was a little different in behavior when especially Yang would prefer to talk to other guys than I did. Okay this does sound really gay but yeah I was a little disappointed that compared to how much I liked him it was not the same amount of love I received. But its true yeah that when people do have different behaviors in relationships. It does not matter whether they or he likes other people more or not it is about how much I do for the people. That's what matters the most and how I stay up right as a person. After all, I learn.
Thank God for this lovely day
Ane Amen.
Friday, March 24, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-417
here again after another wonderful day.
Yeah, today I could say I had quite a useful day.
Well, it could mostly because I didn't get into so much trouble or anything that I would feel bad or so but it is also because in my futsal team I played one hell of a team worker. Like it was really great.
I can't even explain how great it was. Like it was super awesome. It is never because I scored or anything, it is because we played as a team wonderfully. We passed around we scored as a team, assisted and we could have been the underdog but we won all the way. It was such great great feeling.
Yeah, you know, i am beginning to learn to play together with people smiling with some seriousness. Like how my brother Sang keun used to play back in NSFC. Pass around play together shout out for the team and all that was such great.
Yeah, well I can't see what to type as I am keep dreaming haha.
Well yeah today I received a fellow mate too. He will be working at an office just right beside my office. I told him a lot of whattodos and all.
He was such a nice guy. I mean, I did not want someone who could do jobs properly but wanted someone who was more of the pure side. And he really was. Was thankful I had him.
Yeap so I guess that is one for today and thankful for this day
Amen.
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-419
Another day in here typing out my story of the day.
Well, I guess there were a lot of lessons learnt today.
First of all, when I was talking about the accommodation person in charge to my officer, I realized talking back about something that I am not sure or just heard from rumor wasn't a pleasing thing. I did not like talking back about people in the first place and this was not even an information that I was sure about.
Also, me trying to have more positive mindsets would do much better to my life. Like yousee how my officer Kang is behaving with his colleagues. you just can see how positive minded he is. How he could deal with people and all. That is jus amazing. Just how he could think positive in all times. And yeah, like dealing with my senior too, if I could just smile to him and forgive him for who he is, things would have been much smoother in my relationship either. After all, people like me.
yeah, and tomorrow morning, would be another last day of my first Key Resolve training. I will be writing my reflection on it tomorrow but yeah I guess I didn't do much yet learnt about it. Can't wait for things to flow normal like the usual times again.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
Well, I guess there were a lot of lessons learnt today.
First of all, when I was talking about the accommodation person in charge to my officer, I realized talking back about something that I am not sure or just heard from rumor wasn't a pleasing thing. I did not like talking back about people in the first place and this was not even an information that I was sure about.
Also, me trying to have more positive mindsets would do much better to my life. Like yousee how my officer Kang is behaving with his colleagues. you just can see how positive minded he is. How he could deal with people and all. That is jus amazing. Just how he could think positive in all times. And yeah, like dealing with my senior too, if I could just smile to him and forgive him for who he is, things would have been much smoother in my relationship either. After all, people like me.
yeah, and tomorrow morning, would be another last day of my first Key Resolve training. I will be writing my reflection on it tomorrow but yeah I guess I didn't do much yet learnt about it. Can't wait for things to flow normal like the usual times again.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-420
Breaking the line of 420th line.
Yes. I was typing it when I was breaking the 500 line 450 and whenever I would have a special day or so.
Now I am in the midst of this Key Resolve training and things are not as normal as usual days. I would stay up at the bunker for 12 hours straight and get back and sleep and this routine would continue onwards. Well, i can't say time goes slow during this 12 hours period as there are quite a things going around. Like doing a little bit of barista work for my bosses, and a little bit of my own work to file the sheets and playing and talking with other seniors.
Well, what I could just recall today is that when I was playing game with my senior Kim, there was a little bit of quarrel and it wasn't that nice. Like, it did make me reflect on myself. Man, I think I could be more positive. Like on my attitude, I could take things a little easier and more positive I could say. Like, positive mindsets would do help me a lot in my actions indeed.
Well, yeah i guess that would help a lot indeed and a little more respect and little less ego for me would do much better.
Was a day of training but more like hmm I don't know, wasn't enjoying myself so much but I am handling this.
After all, we learn throughout this moments, I do. So, I will learn from every of this day and move on.
Thank God for this day
Amen.
Yes. I was typing it when I was breaking the 500 line 450 and whenever I would have a special day or so.
Now I am in the midst of this Key Resolve training and things are not as normal as usual days. I would stay up at the bunker for 12 hours straight and get back and sleep and this routine would continue onwards. Well, i can't say time goes slow during this 12 hours period as there are quite a things going around. Like doing a little bit of barista work for my bosses, and a little bit of my own work to file the sheets and playing and talking with other seniors.
Well, what I could just recall today is that when I was playing game with my senior Kim, there was a little bit of quarrel and it wasn't that nice. Like, it did make me reflect on myself. Man, I think I could be more positive. Like on my attitude, I could take things a little easier and more positive I could say. Like, positive mindsets would do help me a lot in my actions indeed.
Well, yeah i guess that would help a lot indeed and a little more respect and little less ego for me would do much better.
Was a day of training but more like hmm I don't know, wasn't enjoying myself so much but I am handling this.
After all, we learn throughout this moments, I do. So, I will learn from every of this day and move on.
Thank God for this day
Amen.
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-422
Sometimes, it does make me feel like why can't my senior person be like my mates' seniors. Comparing them with one another. It happens pretty often whenever I see how normal the other platoons are carrying on and how please my mates seemed to be. It also makes me think of such when I am down and yeah most of the times or at times when I don't feel that bad about my platoon, my conclusion would always be that even when I am at other platoon, there would be a problem of their own in that platoon either.
Well, yeah, I had a day that I took time to share my thoughts that I had been keeping. It happened with me having been treated badly at the assembly two days ago and also with me seeing him trying to fool me around in front of our bosses from our office. Well, when I had said that to him, and when his mate fcl Kim agreed with what I had been saying, it felt great as there was someone who would agree with my thought. However, after a while, it didn't feel good indeed as going against him and sharing my thought isn't good at times. He does not understand those at most of the times. Well, I only shared my thoughts a few times. He doesn't get it. He's point of view are different from the ones that get it. He doesn't see it because all the time, those pov's of the committers are different from those who get it.
It was pretty much complicated feelings with the start of this Key Resolve trainings. It was a little like I was getting left and my mate was getting closer to them and my seniors were not easy to get closer to. Also, having been treated like such a way from him, things were just you know reluctant for me. I do not like it all the time when I get down because of his actions. Yet, I do not want to report these to the officers as I do not want to be known for this from the others, I do not want to be failed in this challenge, i want to withstand this and learn to live along with person like him. I do not want to think that all these are impossible. Because I want to be a person stronger than this. I want to be able to withstand it.
Yet still, it is important that I be the right person. It doesn't matter if I get closer to him or what, it's got to be that I be person of the right junior's mind. That is what matters.
I get into a lot of thoughts. I am going to make a streetewise decision in this. If I get too hard that I can't take it, I am going to use that measure. But if there are ways that I could solve in a smarter way, I am going to deploy that.
I love myself and Love God
Thanks for this day too
Amen.
Well, yeah, I had a day that I took time to share my thoughts that I had been keeping. It happened with me having been treated badly at the assembly two days ago and also with me seeing him trying to fool me around in front of our bosses from our office. Well, when I had said that to him, and when his mate fcl Kim agreed with what I had been saying, it felt great as there was someone who would agree with my thought. However, after a while, it didn't feel good indeed as going against him and sharing my thought isn't good at times. He does not understand those at most of the times. Well, I only shared my thoughts a few times. He doesn't get it. He's point of view are different from the ones that get it. He doesn't see it because all the time, those pov's of the committers are different from those who get it.
It was pretty much complicated feelings with the start of this Key Resolve trainings. It was a little like I was getting left and my mate was getting closer to them and my seniors were not easy to get closer to. Also, having been treated like such a way from him, things were just you know reluctant for me. I do not like it all the time when I get down because of his actions. Yet, I do not want to report these to the officers as I do not want to be known for this from the others, I do not want to be failed in this challenge, i want to withstand this and learn to live along with person like him. I do not want to think that all these are impossible. Because I want to be a person stronger than this. I want to be able to withstand it.
Yet still, it is important that I be the right person. It doesn't matter if I get closer to him or what, it's got to be that I be person of the right junior's mind. That is what matters.
I get into a lot of thoughts. I am going to make a streetewise decision in this. If I get too hard that I can't take it, I am going to use that measure. But if there are ways that I could solve in a smarter way, I am going to deploy that.
I love myself and Love God
Thanks for this day too
Amen.
Friday, March 17, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-424
Another lucky day that I am able to access to this diary of mine.
I'm in 30minutes before going for my futsal day in here.
Futsal. Well, things have been hard at times great at times but after all I know there are a lot of laughters from it.
Well, today I was at the bunker doing KR. Talked a lot with my bosses and I realized I was indeed getting closer. All I have to do will be be more careful as we get closer and be more friendly and willing to talk as times go.
Well, I guss there is this in my mind that is stuck. So, when I woke up, I heard from my bunk mates that I was voted as one of the better soldiers in the platoon. That means, I will be given more holidays corresponding to that. Earning holidays is a sensitive stuff in here, as that is what matters to the soldiers. So when I heard from my bunk mates that I became that, it was pretty awkward for me to actually react to it. I first thought of how mr. Kang in my office reacted this morning when he became the first price winner of the bonus incentives. He was calm and humble. I wanted to do the same too.
Well, it is sensitive matter or it could be just me thinking in that way. Yes, I could be thinking overly. I wasn't that better soldier compared to the others. I wasn't doing so great here and there, I just wasn't proud of myself. It was more like i didn't deserve this award. I thought of all those moments when i wasn't so proud of my actions, such as going to the platoon restaurant with slippers on yesterday and behaving in another way.
Well, I do not take this so seriously and try to change all. I just got to take it graciously and act as how I had been doing till now.
Thank God for this day
and Amen.
I'm in 30minutes before going for my futsal day in here.
Futsal. Well, things have been hard at times great at times but after all I know there are a lot of laughters from it.
Well, today I was at the bunker doing KR. Talked a lot with my bosses and I realized I was indeed getting closer. All I have to do will be be more careful as we get closer and be more friendly and willing to talk as times go.
Well, I guss there is this in my mind that is stuck. So, when I woke up, I heard from my bunk mates that I was voted as one of the better soldiers in the platoon. That means, I will be given more holidays corresponding to that. Earning holidays is a sensitive stuff in here, as that is what matters to the soldiers. So when I heard from my bunk mates that I became that, it was pretty awkward for me to actually react to it. I first thought of how mr. Kang in my office reacted this morning when he became the first price winner of the bonus incentives. He was calm and humble. I wanted to do the same too.
Well, it is sensitive matter or it could be just me thinking in that way. Yes, I could be thinking overly. I wasn't that better soldier compared to the others. I wasn't doing so great here and there, I just wasn't proud of myself. It was more like i didn't deserve this award. I thought of all those moments when i wasn't so proud of my actions, such as going to the platoon restaurant with slippers on yesterday and behaving in another way.
Well, I do not take this so seriously and try to change all. I just got to take it graciously and act as how I had been doing till now.
Thank God for this day
and Amen.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-425
It's been quite a time since I last wrote in here. Well, it could be due to stormy KR training that is being going on in here. After i got back from my 2days 1night holiday with dad to the Gochok sky dome, things have been pretty different from the normal routine of life. KR training has begun and now I am waking up at 4pm and reporting to the bunker at 730pm. I work night shift doing mostly on supporting my bosses. Mostly I do make coffee, give out water and stuff. Well, when I first heard about KR and realized it was Key Resolve, I was pretty much excited to be involved in such huge training that I had even known when I was a civilian. Now, I was participating in this event as a soldier representing the ROK.
It was pretty much different from what I had thought. What I had thought about was like me being involved in translation and stuff being busy. However, getting a chance to talk to those US soldiers were rare. I did not get a chance for sure. All I realized was that rather than just wasting time away, it was much better to be talking to someone else. Anybody it could be. Because they gave me lessons.
It was pretty disappointing that I couldn't talk to any US soldiers or be a huge part of this event but of course, I always believe that chances will come when I do my best at my own duty. So, no rush for me or no comparing myself to the others on the pace of life. Life is about my pace not about the others.
Saw Alicia winning some first prize for the Galore writing contest. Reading her interview made me nostalgic and also reflect on myself. Yet again, we do not compare. It is about the each person's pace of life. However, it did make me feel, what if I would go back in time. How I'd wish I had more positive and genuine heart and a heart that I would study.
Well, yet life goes on after all these thoughts.
Thank God for this day.,
Amen.
It was pretty much different from what I had thought. What I had thought about was like me being involved in translation and stuff being busy. However, getting a chance to talk to those US soldiers were rare. I did not get a chance for sure. All I realized was that rather than just wasting time away, it was much better to be talking to someone else. Anybody it could be. Because they gave me lessons.
It was pretty disappointing that I couldn't talk to any US soldiers or be a huge part of this event but of course, I always believe that chances will come when I do my best at my own duty. So, no rush for me or no comparing myself to the others on the pace of life. Life is about my pace not about the others.
Saw Alicia winning some first prize for the Galore writing contest. Reading her interview made me nostalgic and also reflect on myself. Yet again, we do not compare. It is about the each person's pace of life. However, it did make me feel, what if I would go back in time. How I'd wish I had more positive and genuine heart and a heart that I would study.
Well, yet life goes on after all these thoughts.
Thank God for this day.,
Amen.
Friday, March 10, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-431
So here am I. Sitting down at this small yet cozy living room in between the four doors. Dad and mom are sleeping in one room, my sis is studying in her own room, making me realize that she has grown up one grade further in her school. And here am I, typing my diary in here with my lovely and friendly laptop, opening other links and feeling comfortable and cozy and excited about what erotic things could actually happen with it.
Well, I took my 2days 1night leave. Many people asked and wondered what for would I go on a such short leave. But I was never daunted as I had clear purpose of this short leave. It was to watch World Baseball Classic with dad. Dad loves sports, so do I. It has been such long time that dad actually visited the stadium to watch a match, nor did he had the time to catch those sports events comfortably having to go through tough livelihood. As this was major event, I wanted to catch it when it happens in Korea. And I also wanted to show it to dad. Although mom did not seem to be in good terms with dad, she was more than happy with my idea of bringing him to the stadium.
This morning, I left the camp with no hurry. Although I had what to do and on in my mind, i did not want to force my way out in here. There were rules and there were things to happen at pace. It was a pleasing feel to actually leave the camp on a holiday with light heart. I was gaining good terms with people in my camp. Relationship should not be the foremost priority in my life but it is no denial that it does happen to come in the front line of my priorities.
I reached the East Daegu station and bought the ticket to Cheonan-Asan. It was after numerous consideration these past few days of wondering whether should I just hop in without paying for my tickets. It was not the fear of getting caught but it was the fear of ruining my relationship with God that made me fear. After so much thought, I decided to do what is right. In all the time in my life, even when I am prosperous or wealthy, there would always grow an idea that I would want to lie myself for a way that could benefit me in the dimmest way. And I can tell myself now that however dim that lie seems like, it is the matter of fact that I am committing such mistakes are what matters.
I took train from Asan to Cheonan and as I landed, I bought some small walnut crackers in memories of my childhood. Cheonan would always make me remember this biscuit. As I left the hall and began to search for Exit 1 while holding onto my hot walnut biscuits, a flashback occurred in my head. I saw pictures. Pictures of me back in 2012. Yes that's right. This was the place that I hid myself for an escape from my house. It was cold winter and that was when I was going through some o-level re-taking revision period and I had so much quarrel with mom and dad that I never wanted to go back home. I never wanted to live with them. I took any train that could get me out of town and it was Cheonan that the train terminated at. There was no train going further as it already was the last train of the night. I was asked to leave the platform by the crew and confidently left the platform to the gantry hoping not to reveal my status as a teenage hobo. I tapped my card out and the gantry did not open. I called the person who could help and he helped me out and told me that I needed to top up more amount. I remember telling him that i had no money. He stared me saying how could you just say that and I was clearly in a difficult situation as there was no mom, dad getting me out of situations. The person confiscated my card and I was let go. I sat down at the train platform where there were express trains running on midnight. I was seeing those people looking so busy, carrying their bag pack heading to take the train. It was so cold sitting down all alone at the bench, seeing people come and go. I was asked to leave again so I was loitering around the corridor and found this ATM. I saw my wallet and I still had this citibank card that mom used to transfer money to me when I was in Singapore. I put the card in the ATM and found out I could discard some money. Took them out, and didn't no look for anything else but went straight into Lotteria where I could sit down in warm condition drinking hot choco. This did not last long either as I had to leave for they had to clean the site.
I loitered around the city. Saw night clubs and the adults having the time of their lives. It was going 3am and 4am but the lights weren't out. I walked around and realized there were quite number of adults' places. It did make me feel horny as I saw those sexy looking ladies at the street hopping into cars. It did make me think of a lot of those stories I've read before and stuff. But of course, it never happened to me. I walked a round and saw apartments and it was a little scary that I began to think about all those news incidents. When 6am came and when the sun began to rise and people began to start their day, I took the first train to warm myself up again but hadn't been thinking of going back home still. It was when I was scolded by some random uncle for standing in front of him and stuff and decided to get back home. Dad and mom welcomed me regardless of where I spent the night. It was one of those days when I was struggling in my teenage.
As I walked through those familiar venues, seeing the platform, trains, people and Lotte ria and the places that I had not seen as it was either too early or too late, it made me realize it took 5 years that I am back in here again, being at different status. During these 5 years, where have I gone. What person am I as compared to myself laying in the bench in 2012. I hope that I've grown, not in terms of anything but in terms of deciding what is right for my own future.
Walked out of Exit 1, saw two other soldiers who were waiting for the same bus heading to the independence hall. The reasosn why soldiers go this place is just for one reason. Is because they provide one extra day of holiday if we visit there. As soldiers know soldiers, they were giving the stares trying to see my rank and my platoon. It was a little bit uncomfortable as I was alone getting the attention from the two. They were sergeants. We took the bus and I sat on the first seat. It was pretty shameful of me that i couldn't give up my seat for elderly not because I was lazy but because I was afraid of getting all people's attention. It was ugly. But yes, I can do better next time.
I got down to the independnce hall, looked around hoping that I should have brought a recording material to take photos. It was amazing and gorgeous. The sculptures they built, were humongous and gorgeous. There were three spots I was asked to visit and get the stamp and I took most of my time at the first arena which displayed the Japanese Occupation period. Reading those reads in there, it did stir my patriotism deep in me. Yes. I used to be a super great patriot back in times when I was away in overseas. Not sure, how I began to be confused on my identity but yeah, this is my history and this is my nation. This is where I root from and this is what I've got to remember.
Seeing tons of flags layed was such a wonderful scenes. It was amazing surely.
I got back home, taking train and called dad. He seemed to have waited for me at the independence hall to pick me up. I didn't have phone to actually contact with him unfortunately.
I got home talked to jaeyeon on phone after so long and saw dad come back in mean time and we headed to the Gochok stadium for our match.
Yes. Today was like some Korean Patriot package. There were lots of time that did make me stir the inner patriotism in me. Those times when we shouted Dae han min Guk in the stadium and when our players hit singles and doubles, just being in there made me feel like a patriot. It was great to see dad looking so interested at the game. It made me feel that I would want to take him more often next time. Hopefully, the venue should be closer so he won't have hard time driving so far and also make the seating much better.
Yeah and here am I. I am still in the living room and I am going to head over to my sis' room after typing this diary. Hope dad and mom's relationship gets better.
Thank God for this lucky trip
and
Amen.
Well, I took my 2days 1night leave. Many people asked and wondered what for would I go on a such short leave. But I was never daunted as I had clear purpose of this short leave. It was to watch World Baseball Classic with dad. Dad loves sports, so do I. It has been such long time that dad actually visited the stadium to watch a match, nor did he had the time to catch those sports events comfortably having to go through tough livelihood. As this was major event, I wanted to catch it when it happens in Korea. And I also wanted to show it to dad. Although mom did not seem to be in good terms with dad, she was more than happy with my idea of bringing him to the stadium.
This morning, I left the camp with no hurry. Although I had what to do and on in my mind, i did not want to force my way out in here. There were rules and there were things to happen at pace. It was a pleasing feel to actually leave the camp on a holiday with light heart. I was gaining good terms with people in my camp. Relationship should not be the foremost priority in my life but it is no denial that it does happen to come in the front line of my priorities.
I reached the East Daegu station and bought the ticket to Cheonan-Asan. It was after numerous consideration these past few days of wondering whether should I just hop in without paying for my tickets. It was not the fear of getting caught but it was the fear of ruining my relationship with God that made me fear. After so much thought, I decided to do what is right. In all the time in my life, even when I am prosperous or wealthy, there would always grow an idea that I would want to lie myself for a way that could benefit me in the dimmest way. And I can tell myself now that however dim that lie seems like, it is the matter of fact that I am committing such mistakes are what matters.
I took train from Asan to Cheonan and as I landed, I bought some small walnut crackers in memories of my childhood. Cheonan would always make me remember this biscuit. As I left the hall and began to search for Exit 1 while holding onto my hot walnut biscuits, a flashback occurred in my head. I saw pictures. Pictures of me back in 2012. Yes that's right. This was the place that I hid myself for an escape from my house. It was cold winter and that was when I was going through some o-level re-taking revision period and I had so much quarrel with mom and dad that I never wanted to go back home. I never wanted to live with them. I took any train that could get me out of town and it was Cheonan that the train terminated at. There was no train going further as it already was the last train of the night. I was asked to leave the platform by the crew and confidently left the platform to the gantry hoping not to reveal my status as a teenage hobo. I tapped my card out and the gantry did not open. I called the person who could help and he helped me out and told me that I needed to top up more amount. I remember telling him that i had no money. He stared me saying how could you just say that and I was clearly in a difficult situation as there was no mom, dad getting me out of situations. The person confiscated my card and I was let go. I sat down at the train platform where there were express trains running on midnight. I was seeing those people looking so busy, carrying their bag pack heading to take the train. It was so cold sitting down all alone at the bench, seeing people come and go. I was asked to leave again so I was loitering around the corridor and found this ATM. I saw my wallet and I still had this citibank card that mom used to transfer money to me when I was in Singapore. I put the card in the ATM and found out I could discard some money. Took them out, and didn't no look for anything else but went straight into Lotteria where I could sit down in warm condition drinking hot choco. This did not last long either as I had to leave for they had to clean the site.
I loitered around the city. Saw night clubs and the adults having the time of their lives. It was going 3am and 4am but the lights weren't out. I walked around and realized there were quite number of adults' places. It did make me feel horny as I saw those sexy looking ladies at the street hopping into cars. It did make me think of a lot of those stories I've read before and stuff. But of course, it never happened to me. I walked a round and saw apartments and it was a little scary that I began to think about all those news incidents. When 6am came and when the sun began to rise and people began to start their day, I took the first train to warm myself up again but hadn't been thinking of going back home still. It was when I was scolded by some random uncle for standing in front of him and stuff and decided to get back home. Dad and mom welcomed me regardless of where I spent the night. It was one of those days when I was struggling in my teenage.
As I walked through those familiar venues, seeing the platform, trains, people and Lotte ria and the places that I had not seen as it was either too early or too late, it made me realize it took 5 years that I am back in here again, being at different status. During these 5 years, where have I gone. What person am I as compared to myself laying in the bench in 2012. I hope that I've grown, not in terms of anything but in terms of deciding what is right for my own future.
Walked out of Exit 1, saw two other soldiers who were waiting for the same bus heading to the independence hall. The reasosn why soldiers go this place is just for one reason. Is because they provide one extra day of holiday if we visit there. As soldiers know soldiers, they were giving the stares trying to see my rank and my platoon. It was a little bit uncomfortable as I was alone getting the attention from the two. They were sergeants. We took the bus and I sat on the first seat. It was pretty shameful of me that i couldn't give up my seat for elderly not because I was lazy but because I was afraid of getting all people's attention. It was ugly. But yes, I can do better next time.
I got down to the independnce hall, looked around hoping that I should have brought a recording material to take photos. It was amazing and gorgeous. The sculptures they built, were humongous and gorgeous. There were three spots I was asked to visit and get the stamp and I took most of my time at the first arena which displayed the Japanese Occupation period. Reading those reads in there, it did stir my patriotism deep in me. Yes. I used to be a super great patriot back in times when I was away in overseas. Not sure, how I began to be confused on my identity but yeah, this is my history and this is my nation. This is where I root from and this is what I've got to remember.
Seeing tons of flags layed was such a wonderful scenes. It was amazing surely.
I got back home, taking train and called dad. He seemed to have waited for me at the independence hall to pick me up. I didn't have phone to actually contact with him unfortunately.
I got home talked to jaeyeon on phone after so long and saw dad come back in mean time and we headed to the Gochok stadium for our match.
Yes. Today was like some Korean Patriot package. There were lots of time that did make me stir the inner patriotism in me. Those times when we shouted Dae han min Guk in the stadium and when our players hit singles and doubles, just being in there made me feel like a patriot. It was great to see dad looking so interested at the game. It made me feel that I would want to take him more often next time. Hopefully, the venue should be closer so he won't have hard time driving so far and also make the seating much better.
Yeah and here am I. I am still in the living room and I am going to head over to my sis' room after typing this diary. Hope dad and mom's relationship gets better.
Thank God for this lucky trip
and
Amen.
Dawns in Daegu - D-434 (written on 7th March)
Been quite sometime since I last wrote my daily diary.
It was when they started updating all the computers new in here that my blog wasn't accessible and I began to stop writing diaries.
Well, there were several things that happened along the way that I wasn't able to write it down here. But what matters is how I grew along the way and how the things that happened affected me along the way too.
Well, along the way I can sa I got closer to my senior Oh. But it is not the informality and the closeness that matters. I mean, that is great but not that important when I start forgetting abut respects. I shouldn't lose my respect for him.
And well yeah, I did not like going for futsal that often anymore now that I lost a little bit of interest from it. Maybe a better weather could make me get interested again. Or maybe my closeness to people could.
yeeah. It is great that I can control my own feelings and stand such a strong man in this world. Things could have affected me along but it didn't. I stood still and strong.
Because I myself as a person have grown to be a stronger person. And loving more people. Taking them personally humanely.
Yeah, I think i can now admit that I began to forget some of my English. Now that I am typing I am confused to the spelling that I am writing.
Well, yeah. That's a little bit of it. Always love the people stay cool love people. Don't lose your motto. People go low, i go high.
I thank God and Love God for this wonderful day again.
Korea have lost in WBC but yet I am still going on my leave to watch the Worldly event against Taiwan with dad.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
It was when they started updating all the computers new in here that my blog wasn't accessible and I began to stop writing diaries.
Well, there were several things that happened along the way that I wasn't able to write it down here. But what matters is how I grew along the way and how the things that happened affected me along the way too.
Well, along the way I can sa I got closer to my senior Oh. But it is not the informality and the closeness that matters. I mean, that is great but not that important when I start forgetting abut respects. I shouldn't lose my respect for him.
And well yeah, I did not like going for futsal that often anymore now that I lost a little bit of interest from it. Maybe a better weather could make me get interested again. Or maybe my closeness to people could.
yeeah. It is great that I can control my own feelings and stand such a strong man in this world. Things could have affected me along but it didn't. I stood still and strong.
Because I myself as a person have grown to be a stronger person. And loving more people. Taking them personally humanely.
Yeah, I think i can now admit that I began to forget some of my English. Now that I am typing I am confused to the spelling that I am writing.
Well, yeah. That's a little bit of it. Always love the people stay cool love people. Don't lose your motto. People go low, i go high.
I thank God and Love God for this wonderful day again.
Korea have lost in WBC but yet I am still going on my leave to watch the Worldly event against Taiwan with dad.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
Dawns in Daegu - D-439 (written on 2nd March)
Another day typing out my diary in this naver mail. Using the 'wrtie to myself' mode.
here I am when I am typing on my keyboard and looking on this wooden table, it does make me relax and make me go through all things that happened today. The magic of this keyboard and the table.
Well. I could say I probably could have gotten some ups and downs in my own. Like, I had this little trouble with my friend Seunghoon, and it made both of us a little weird since then. Any words he would say was going to mislead me after all and things were a little tricky. I wasn't so comfortable everytime when he entered my bunk because we weren't so clear about it all. Well, it could be better if I could have had all things in positve mind. Well, nothing bad happened as things solved out well. But one big lesson to go. he is like that I am like me. we got to understand each others' differences and accept them. That's just how we live our lives.
Well, yeah. What a positive day. Having a great day with mates and being able to look out for my future endeavors. Yeah. I do need that. But you know, it would be indeed great if I could focus on what I've got to do without the outside matters.
I am learning in here and each day of my life gaining confidence. you know. As I was looking through the courses in Sim and all, and made me think yeah I used to have this thought of going to new school and how am I going to socialize or even look fitter and stuff yeah now that I am here for so long I realized those are pretty much not a big deal. Those are in good hands.
I thank God for letting me be me and caring for those who weren't in good hands. Please do love all people Lord.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
here I am when I am typing on my keyboard and looking on this wooden table, it does make me relax and make me go through all things that happened today. The magic of this keyboard and the table.
Well. I could say I probably could have gotten some ups and downs in my own. Like, I had this little trouble with my friend Seunghoon, and it made both of us a little weird since then. Any words he would say was going to mislead me after all and things were a little tricky. I wasn't so comfortable everytime when he entered my bunk because we weren't so clear about it all. Well, it could be better if I could have had all things in positve mind. Well, nothing bad happened as things solved out well. But one big lesson to go. he is like that I am like me. we got to understand each others' differences and accept them. That's just how we live our lives.
Well, yeah. What a positive day. Having a great day with mates and being able to look out for my future endeavors. Yeah. I do need that. But you know, it would be indeed great if I could focus on what I've got to do without the outside matters.
I am learning in here and each day of my life gaining confidence. you know. As I was looking through the courses in Sim and all, and made me think yeah I used to have this thought of going to new school and how am I going to socialize or even look fitter and stuff yeah now that I am here for so long I realized those are pretty much not a big deal. Those are in good hands.
I thank God for letting me be me and caring for those who weren't in good hands. Please do love all people Lord.
Thank God for this day and
Amen.
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-440
1st march in Korea. Is not a normal day. A day that our dear Ms. Yoo Kwan Soon fought for the independence of our country. In memorial to that, we do spend a day off in our week. A great break in the mid of the week.
Holiday in this camp is not so restricted like other camps do. We don't go in for those lectures and do some works and stuff but it's more about complementing the necessary sleep and watching movies and all.
I went to the 62 signal corps to meet out with my old mate Jang. He is my friend from the BMT. As I was meeting him for like 2hours, I realized I've become more relaxed in my life back in my own bunk. I've got friends, family and got more adopted I can say. previous times when I met him, it felt like I was doing things just for the sake of escaping my own camp and showing off that I've got other friends that those people back in my bunk, and also felt like I was going off the route as after all, I spend most of my time back in my bunk. Now things are slightly different from back then. I feel more relaxed and comfortable with the people in my bunk. Yes, I can't agree more that I do get problems at times. Such as like yesterday when people would comment in a disrespectful way and it does happen at times. But, after all they are family. After all, they do love me. That's where all those actions root from. But yeah, it is always hard accepting those disrespectful comments. That's why I rested a day from futsal today. Didn't wanna be out there on the field when I wasn't so stable for myself. I told people that I had problem with my ankle but it wasn't more to that. But well, yeah, just know that after some time it is really nothing. After all what's left are people around me. What's left are the memories and the people.
So, let us try to keep myself strongly positive and leave no prejudice on others.
Thanks myself for going on.
Love Lord and
Amen!
Monday, February 27, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-442
I am back in here typing my diary in this blog once again.
It's been such long long time since I typed my story in here. The newly updated computers were not compatible with google or any foreign sites but now that I've found this computer is compatible to foreign sites, I guess this could be my usual spot. Although the seat isn't perfect due to its arrangement that people who are waiting on queue like specialist Yoon, could watch what I was up to.
Anyways, today was pretty much of a busy day at work. There wasn't much work to do but there were a lot of movements. I finished my 08~10 am duty in the morning at CASIC and headed back to office. People were all briniging their stuff down to the bunker. It was most likely for the preparation for the KR exercise. Then i went down to the bunker too and did minor stuff. Like preparing the laptops and all but as it was my first time and all I was a little lost. And seeing my senior having the relaxing chat with the officers, that could have got me jealous. But I wasn't. Because I know one simple rule. To wait. Enjoy the current of the sea and good things will follow on my pace when I can have them.
Dealing life with my senirs have gotten smoother too. After all, they do like me. I do like them after all. That is easy ways for all of us. Always, whereever I go, let's do my best for myself. Not for my attitude and my reputation right here but for the habit of myself, for the future of myself.
Got back to the bunk being so hopeful to play futsal. You know, like always it happens, my mate Kim can get annoying. It was when I asked for some magnets that he tried to fool me and I was a little angry about it. But it was really small thing. Things do not matter so much. It was with such mind that I headed down to the court, and I wasn't so concentrated on the game. One simple rule. We don't get outside matters back into the field. We don't bring matters that happen on the field to the outside the field. Trying to think that I would score a goal against him or go hard on him and all these do not matter. They were totally unnecessary. Always know the difference and learn to segregate the two.
Well, yeah. I do not care about what seniors say because it happens on the field. I would try and that's all that matters. I should learn to differentiate really.
Hope I can love myself and the others!
Thank God for this wonderful day I am given!
Thanks for the lessons too
Amen.
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-443
I am back in here at my sweetie home using my old friend Samsung notebook to type out my story. I am relaxed and calm. I just got back from a night with the people from my platoon at skiing resort. This trip out to the ski resort was set departing from Son's idea. Four people gathered along the way and we gathered at the Gangnam station and rode the shuttle bus down to Jisan Resort. It was my first skiing experience. However, it was not just about skiing that mattered. It was not about the event that would make people excited but for me it was more about people around me. They were the nice people that I could easily hang out with people. However, with the recent well I'm not sure about this but yeah i was not doing good with Son and thus this trip from the beginning did not really excite me so much.
It was a night that I learned. I learned to ski. I learned that there are things to be learned. In awkward moments of people talking bad things behind their backs, I was able to keep myself to my belief and faith that I would not do such behaviors. In such awkward moments I kept myself and also maybe I could learn to deal with such situations as those are pretty often. I learned that I can keep myself strong. I am doing great and did what was right. I thank God for keeping me up right.
Well yeah maybe I could have got out of that situation more smoothly. Make things not so awkward and make it flow natural for everyone. But after all, we again think about the time that I will eventually be looking back. Look at me now. Although I can't say that I am being as smooth as it can be in my own platoon, look at the times when I had troubles with Oh and Yoon. And look at myself now. Things do change from time to time. It is the mindset that affects and changes all. Just looking back at 25th February of 2017, this would just be a night that I had a night out with my mates, was my first skiing experience and saw how I was keeping myself up right. This would be remembered good. So leave no hatred or any anger within me from this moment.
I am no longer envious of any relationship.
I am no longer tied to this trip.
I have learned many.
Thank God for this trip in here and for a little sweet time that I can relax in my house.
Thank Lord and Amen.
Dawns in Daegu - D-447 (Written on 22nd Feb)
I am writing my diary in this naver letter mail because the newly changed computers are not compatible with foreign websites such as google or youtube.
It was long days of me not writting any diaries and now after some thoughts about it, I am finally writing them out.
Many things happened. First, I broke that 450 wall. I can't count how many days I have gone far with but as I see on Naver calculator, I am left with 447 days and so far I've completed the 190 days. So that would make 10 days to hit the 200 wall.
I've marched 30km, cut my hair, had some mood ups and downs and played lots of futsal. It's great that I can't remember a specific incident as army is all about not creating any mess. Well, on the other hand, it could also mean that I have been getting pretty much of erm.. tedious lifestyle. Things have become slightly tedious lately. Things I do and we do are all reptitive and all are predicted and same as per usual. That was when I began wanting for some loneliness and quiet time for my own. After all, it is great that I've got people around me. This bunk that I belong to are my family. It has come to that point where I began accepting them as my family.
I am grateful for this day that I actually began writing out my diary after long time. I hope I can take one great thing in everyday of my life.
I thank Gor for this day!
Amen.
It was long days of me not writting any diaries and now after some thoughts about it, I am finally writing them out.
Many things happened. First, I broke that 450 wall. I can't count how many days I have gone far with but as I see on Naver calculator, I am left with 447 days and so far I've completed the 190 days. So that would make 10 days to hit the 200 wall.
I've marched 30km, cut my hair, had some mood ups and downs and played lots of futsal. It's great that I can't remember a specific incident as army is all about not creating any mess. Well, on the other hand, it could also mean that I have been getting pretty much of erm.. tedious lifestyle. Things have become slightly tedious lately. Things I do and we do are all reptitive and all are predicted and same as per usual. That was when I began wanting for some loneliness and quiet time for my own. After all, it is great that I've got people around me. This bunk that I belong to are my family. It has come to that point where I began accepting them as my family.
I am grateful for this day that I actually began writing out my diary after long time. I hope I can take one great thing in everyday of my life.
I thank Gor for this day!
Amen.
Saturday, February 11, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-458
Here we have another day in this place. Yes. without realizing myself, I've hit the 450s line.
Well just after this coming week's strenuous marching and shooting drills it will be another momentary deal to be breaking the 450 line. Just after this month it will be much less time left.
So here is me in this cyber lounge writing about another day of mine. There isn't much to state. Things were smooth and I was learning all these while. I was getting better and was learning to love purely. Although it does not come in very handy but things will definitely get better I believe. Remember those days in Seminar room writing diary on my note. Things are much brighter than I do think. Don't get me wrong. It sounds like the words I am writing right now display what a bad day I had today but it never was. It was rather like a real great day. Had great time watching movies in the morning and going for futsal through the afternoon. And just like that, my another day is passing by.
I should really open up to what is coming. I love people so am I ready to accept the love. That's just all about it.
Had a great day and I am going to lead it to the next day.
Embrace more people forgive and love.
Thank Lord for this day.
Amen.
Well just after this coming week's strenuous marching and shooting drills it will be another momentary deal to be breaking the 450 line. Just after this month it will be much less time left.
So here is me in this cyber lounge writing about another day of mine. There isn't much to state. Things were smooth and I was learning all these while. I was getting better and was learning to love purely. Although it does not come in very handy but things will definitely get better I believe. Remember those days in Seminar room writing diary on my note. Things are much brighter than I do think. Don't get me wrong. It sounds like the words I am writing right now display what a bad day I had today but it never was. It was rather like a real great day. Had great time watching movies in the morning and going for futsal through the afternoon. And just like that, my another day is passing by.
I should really open up to what is coming. I love people so am I ready to accept the love. That's just all about it.
Had a great day and I am going to lead it to the next day.
Embrace more people forgive and love.
Thank Lord for this day.
Amen.
Friday, February 10, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-459
So here I am here in the cyber lounge letting one of my days go.
I do not know how things made up to become the person who is standing right now. I am here being known as who I am right now to the people around me. Ever since I got here, there were this and that and those did help me to grow in some ways and did make me a person for who I am known as to my friends. It is great that I managed to make a person who can be loved and can also share to love to the people around me.
However of course there are times when I do feel down. There are days that I solve myself even in the worst situation just after writing diaries and praying to God. But there are also times like yesterday and this day where I just find no clue. It isn't like I am going through something so serious or so bad but it is just that hmm just to jot down what I am going through is that things are perfect but just that whenever we play football or games he would just blame on me or talk in an insensitive ways. I did not like that. I noticed it long before but I didn't care because I didn't wanna lose a friend just because of the moment. But when moment gathered up to be moments it made me look back to times when I was treated that way and make me to conclude the person. Well, all these actions root up from me deciding that I do not want this anymore. However yet he is a good friend after all. It is the thoughts at times that trigger me to reconsider about our friendship. Well, is this the same case for what happened between Shawn and I. I had lots of happy memories and moments with him when I was with him. But though, I had times when I was going down when I was with him. Those moments were too much to give up about our friendship but yet the thought of not wanting to be treated the same way made me to end it in a way. Well, I can't judge this decision was the best for both of us. It wasn't fair to Shawn in a way that he wasn't told what he was doing wrong and it wasn't fair to me to be treated that way.
What would I have done if I am going back to time. What I would have done instead? Well, I probably would have settled with by saying what I do not like and ending the day with joy at least. How can things be dealt for this time? Maybe I could do the same when it happens again? Because you see, treating my friend the same way as he treats me isn't what God taught us. I've loved people in my worst of time. Why not him who gives me joy and share big moments. It can't be a relationship that I just give in just for him being good friends. It has to be a win-win. Well, I can do this. I mean this is not something to ponder about so much. It isn't like there were anything wrong after all.
I can do this.
God is with me. So can I.
Love Lord for this wonderful day.
Amen.
I do not know how things made up to become the person who is standing right now. I am here being known as who I am right now to the people around me. Ever since I got here, there were this and that and those did help me to grow in some ways and did make me a person for who I am known as to my friends. It is great that I managed to make a person who can be loved and can also share to love to the people around me.
However of course there are times when I do feel down. There are days that I solve myself even in the worst situation just after writing diaries and praying to God. But there are also times like yesterday and this day where I just find no clue. It isn't like I am going through something so serious or so bad but it is just that hmm just to jot down what I am going through is that things are perfect but just that whenever we play football or games he would just blame on me or talk in an insensitive ways. I did not like that. I noticed it long before but I didn't care because I didn't wanna lose a friend just because of the moment. But when moment gathered up to be moments it made me look back to times when I was treated that way and make me to conclude the person. Well, all these actions root up from me deciding that I do not want this anymore. However yet he is a good friend after all. It is the thoughts at times that trigger me to reconsider about our friendship. Well, is this the same case for what happened between Shawn and I. I had lots of happy memories and moments with him when I was with him. But though, I had times when I was going down when I was with him. Those moments were too much to give up about our friendship but yet the thought of not wanting to be treated the same way made me to end it in a way. Well, I can't judge this decision was the best for both of us. It wasn't fair to Shawn in a way that he wasn't told what he was doing wrong and it wasn't fair to me to be treated that way.
What would I have done if I am going back to time. What I would have done instead? Well, I probably would have settled with by saying what I do not like and ending the day with joy at least. How can things be dealt for this time? Maybe I could do the same when it happens again? Because you see, treating my friend the same way as he treats me isn't what God taught us. I've loved people in my worst of time. Why not him who gives me joy and share big moments. It can't be a relationship that I just give in just for him being good friends. It has to be a win-win. Well, I can do this. I mean this is not something to ponder about so much. It isn't like there were anything wrong after all.
I can do this.
God is with me. So can I.
Love Lord for this wonderful day.
Amen.
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-461
Finally I got to this website oh MY IT IS SO HARD JUST GETTING INTO THIS WEBSITE, I GUESS I SPENT LIKE 10MINUTES JUST TO LOG IN HERE.
Well yeah this is the thing that happens all the time when I am logging in here but yeah after all those will be memories too.
Was so wanting to write a diary and reflection of my day yesterday before my day was going to end yesterday but I didn't have enough time for it. I was getting facebook messages from my friends and long time friends and it was pretty much flooding. It was one feeling that I didn't use to get in a year. All these would end up in a short time.
It was glad though that Fariza contacted me. It was a huge joy. There were people that I may have lost contact along the way and those are especially the girls. I had troubles keeping girl friends on my side. They would be Fariza, Joyce and Sindy. It was easy getting close to them yet so hard to get them back. Each of them were like brothers and sisters to me that I had so much memories with them. Each of them, that I couldn't even count I had lots of happy memories with heart pounding once or twice.
I woke up in the morning late at 6:30am. I was supposed to report for my CASIC duty by 6am but i ended up waking up at 6.30. It was super super late. I quickly changed up my clothes and reported. Nobody knew about this outrageous action but Corporal Kim Seungjoon. He was at the CTOC. He saw the time and he was going a little bit angry. In this Korean society, people are not favourable of misbehavior done by juniors. They tend to be teachers or so. Anyways, what I have done was wrong so I admit. I got back to the bunk had a meal and just what I could remember are that I was blessed. I was blessed to be given lots of snacks from Corporal Yoon Sunghun who did care about me and was cared by Corporal Yoon Juhyung who I liked so much yet had some troubles way back. Jaemin was on the same birthday as I did so we ordered the Yutong Chicken and we had a feast. It was great having feast all together. It was great indeed. I guess it was this very day that when I hung up the phone with mom that I began growing this real thought that I do not care how much I am loved, it is how much I can share love that matters. It doesn't matter if he gets funny or loved more. We are family now and after all in years to come I would miss not being able to enjoy the moment. Yeah.. Hope I can keep this and grow this feeling.
Yeah so it was a very blessed day for me yesterday. And today, in the morning when it was time for us to run. I skipped. It wasn't great feeling. When I saw my senior Oh, I realized I had just committed something wrong that I knew it would be trouble but still head on. But morning exercise is the one thing that I hate so much. I hate running without having to stretch my muscles. It is so painful. Well, when I was just a private maybe I would have taken some different approach to this problem. Because I remember myself thinking of going for stretches early in the morning before the assembly would start, just to prepare myself for that run.
I guess, it is time to do what is right that I think it to be right.
And well, yeah I got down for exercise break today at 1:30 pm and it was indeed record breaking and very relaxing. Watched a movie called Mr. Nobody with Dongyeon and some others and it was indeed complicated. I went out to kick some ball and happened to end up being coached for full back positioning from Corporal Moon Hyunsik. It was great. I realized along the process my eyes were burning with passion again. I was listening to every single thing he was saying. I knew what he was telling me was going to make a step up for me. It was indeed useful.
Sergeant LeeSungwon had gone out for his last leave and now we know that our seniors will be going away and it is beginning to be time for the juniors to prepare the matches and all in a serious way. I had some responsibility to it.
Well, it wasn't pleasing to hear mom and dad quarreling through phone but yeah I don't feel like I am disappointed with them or what but more like I just hope there would be love in place in our family. Hope dad and mom would understand each other more in love. Hope there will be love with us. I thank Lord for this wonderful day and I hope to grow in you. Grow us and do care for all Jesus. Thank you and
Amen.
Well yeah this is the thing that happens all the time when I am logging in here but yeah after all those will be memories too.
Was so wanting to write a diary and reflection of my day yesterday before my day was going to end yesterday but I didn't have enough time for it. I was getting facebook messages from my friends and long time friends and it was pretty much flooding. It was one feeling that I didn't use to get in a year. All these would end up in a short time.
It was glad though that Fariza contacted me. It was a huge joy. There were people that I may have lost contact along the way and those are especially the girls. I had troubles keeping girl friends on my side. They would be Fariza, Joyce and Sindy. It was easy getting close to them yet so hard to get them back. Each of them were like brothers and sisters to me that I had so much memories with them. Each of them, that I couldn't even count I had lots of happy memories with heart pounding once or twice.
I woke up in the morning late at 6:30am. I was supposed to report for my CASIC duty by 6am but i ended up waking up at 6.30. It was super super late. I quickly changed up my clothes and reported. Nobody knew about this outrageous action but Corporal Kim Seungjoon. He was at the CTOC. He saw the time and he was going a little bit angry. In this Korean society, people are not favourable of misbehavior done by juniors. They tend to be teachers or so. Anyways, what I have done was wrong so I admit. I got back to the bunk had a meal and just what I could remember are that I was blessed. I was blessed to be given lots of snacks from Corporal Yoon Sunghun who did care about me and was cared by Corporal Yoon Juhyung who I liked so much yet had some troubles way back. Jaemin was on the same birthday as I did so we ordered the Yutong Chicken and we had a feast. It was great having feast all together. It was great indeed. I guess it was this very day that when I hung up the phone with mom that I began growing this real thought that I do not care how much I am loved, it is how much I can share love that matters. It doesn't matter if he gets funny or loved more. We are family now and after all in years to come I would miss not being able to enjoy the moment. Yeah.. Hope I can keep this and grow this feeling.
Yeah so it was a very blessed day for me yesterday. And today, in the morning when it was time for us to run. I skipped. It wasn't great feeling. When I saw my senior Oh, I realized I had just committed something wrong that I knew it would be trouble but still head on. But morning exercise is the one thing that I hate so much. I hate running without having to stretch my muscles. It is so painful. Well, when I was just a private maybe I would have taken some different approach to this problem. Because I remember myself thinking of going for stretches early in the morning before the assembly would start, just to prepare myself for that run.
I guess, it is time to do what is right that I think it to be right.
And well, yeah I got down for exercise break today at 1:30 pm and it was indeed record breaking and very relaxing. Watched a movie called Mr. Nobody with Dongyeon and some others and it was indeed complicated. I went out to kick some ball and happened to end up being coached for full back positioning from Corporal Moon Hyunsik. It was great. I realized along the process my eyes were burning with passion again. I was listening to every single thing he was saying. I knew what he was telling me was going to make a step up for me. It was indeed useful.
Sergeant LeeSungwon had gone out for his last leave and now we know that our seniors will be going away and it is beginning to be time for the juniors to prepare the matches and all in a serious way. I had some responsibility to it.
Well, it wasn't pleasing to hear mom and dad quarreling through phone but yeah I don't feel like I am disappointed with them or what but more like I just hope there would be love in place in our family. Hope dad and mom would understand each other more in love. Hope there will be love with us. I thank Lord for this wonderful day and I hope to grow in you. Grow us and do care for all Jesus. Thank you and
Amen.
Monday, February 6, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-463
Yeah. I am back here in the cyber digital room again here in this my familiar place. Walking through the guardhouse, walking into the command room, seeing the people I know and being warmly welcomed, I had no moments to feel sad about booking in.
As soon as I got up to the second floor, I saw Corporal Son who is a close friend of mine was on duty today. It is always glad to see him in here. I saluted to the officer in charge and had a little chat as I saw my bunk mates outside the admin room. We went back to the bunk together and I was warmly welcomed. It does not matter whether I was being warmly welcomed or missed. It matters that I care for them and it matters that I actually miss them and love them. There is one thing I realized as I was going through some quarrels and upsetting things these days. It is that they are no longer another person. They are part of me and they are part of my family. They are not someone to get apart from just because of petty quarrel or misunderstandings. I wasn't sure when I was on the train getting back to Daegu whether I could greet them with a happy smile and being the usual me but as soon as I saw them at the toilet outside the admin room, there was no silence in the air.
I was asked by my platoon leader to follow him to the guardhouse to collect the hand phone. As we were walking he told me he had some top news to share about. First was that there was Super Junior Ryu Wook in the first floor at military band bunk. It was a little shocking as he was super star but wasn't that famous as I didn't really know about him. Second was that we will be having our marching on 15 to 17 of February. This was real shocking news as Marching is one tiring one. Really.
Being pumped up with all these news, I was excited to see him as we were getting back but did not get to see him. There were people around him all the time man marking him, as he was super star.
Got up and changed my clothes and mom called me. Now that she knew about our cell number she started using it to call me. She would call me when she needs me or when she misses me. Today, it seems like she missed me a little bit earlier than I did as I wanted to call her after cleaning session. She heard from my bunk mate joking that I had to write some report and she asked me if it was real. Hung up the phone changed up and got pumped up with news like Jaemin became the barber and stuff. After cleaning time, had long chit chat time with the seniors about football and etc. Got back to the bunk and saw Jaemin cutting for brother Wooyoung and had a little chat with the bunk mates and received a gift from Ji hoon. It was a sweet thought of him for him to hink for me. I was sorry as I didn't give him anything for his birthday. It was heart warming really. Anyways that was about me getting back to the camp. Other than that was me watching this movie called Lion with sis this morning. I had to get up late and watch the later one. I never regret for spending my morning with that movie as this was really worth it. The movie was great that I can call it one of the greatest movie I had ever watched. It was one great movie. It was about a boy finding his true mom in India and this was truly touching when they showed the real footage of him getting back to India to see his mom. Sis and I went to the book shop and I told her to choose one book that she would want to read. As I was telling her that, I was thinking should I ask her to get a self-improvement related books but I did not. I wouldn't read books that I do not like either. It is the first step that she actually finds books interesting that she starts reading.
It is my bad that I woke up too late to see dad before he leaves. Did not even say bye before he left for work.
Hours passed really quick that it became 4pm where I had to leave for train. Mom sis and I were at Lotteria waiting for time to pass. When I was there with mom and as mom was asking quesitons, I wasn't really favourable of that moment as I thought she was asking too much questions. But why does life so complicated. When I am about to leave and as she began taking photos of me with sis and as I hugged her before leaving, I felt love. I felt love. For mom and my family. Sat down on the train and prayed to God, God, next time when I get back, I wish to talk more with my parents, I wish to share my thoughts and let them know about myself more and to learn more about my parents more. I wish to do that. I wish to have great communication with parents. I hope I can achieve that sometime. I will try and I am going to make it happen.
Another thing is as I was on the train, I realized there is no need for any envy or jealousy. I always knew this but I hoped that this time I could really get it changed. After all, I would miss the time that I was with this people and miss what I have missed. In years to come when I look back the memories I had here, I would miss myself being friendly and easy-going with everybody like how I did with Marcus.
Another day is going to come and I can't wait to see what will happen in days to come.
I love myself for having gone through this day and having learned each day.
Being a grown man is to being able to embrace more people in life. See the bigger picture and love the others. Love my family and Lord.
Amen.
As soon as I got up to the second floor, I saw Corporal Son who is a close friend of mine was on duty today. It is always glad to see him in here. I saluted to the officer in charge and had a little chat as I saw my bunk mates outside the admin room. We went back to the bunk together and I was warmly welcomed. It does not matter whether I was being warmly welcomed or missed. It matters that I care for them and it matters that I actually miss them and love them. There is one thing I realized as I was going through some quarrels and upsetting things these days. It is that they are no longer another person. They are part of me and they are part of my family. They are not someone to get apart from just because of petty quarrel or misunderstandings. I wasn't sure when I was on the train getting back to Daegu whether I could greet them with a happy smile and being the usual me but as soon as I saw them at the toilet outside the admin room, there was no silence in the air.
I was asked by my platoon leader to follow him to the guardhouse to collect the hand phone. As we were walking he told me he had some top news to share about. First was that there was Super Junior Ryu Wook in the first floor at military band bunk. It was a little shocking as he was super star but wasn't that famous as I didn't really know about him. Second was that we will be having our marching on 15 to 17 of February. This was real shocking news as Marching is one tiring one. Really.
Being pumped up with all these news, I was excited to see him as we were getting back but did not get to see him. There were people around him all the time man marking him, as he was super star.
Got up and changed my clothes and mom called me. Now that she knew about our cell number she started using it to call me. She would call me when she needs me or when she misses me. Today, it seems like she missed me a little bit earlier than I did as I wanted to call her after cleaning session. She heard from my bunk mate joking that I had to write some report and she asked me if it was real. Hung up the phone changed up and got pumped up with news like Jaemin became the barber and stuff. After cleaning time, had long chit chat time with the seniors about football and etc. Got back to the bunk and saw Jaemin cutting for brother Wooyoung and had a little chat with the bunk mates and received a gift from Ji hoon. It was a sweet thought of him for him to hink for me. I was sorry as I didn't give him anything for his birthday. It was heart warming really. Anyways that was about me getting back to the camp. Other than that was me watching this movie called Lion with sis this morning. I had to get up late and watch the later one. I never regret for spending my morning with that movie as this was really worth it. The movie was great that I can call it one of the greatest movie I had ever watched. It was one great movie. It was about a boy finding his true mom in India and this was truly touching when they showed the real footage of him getting back to India to see his mom. Sis and I went to the book shop and I told her to choose one book that she would want to read. As I was telling her that, I was thinking should I ask her to get a self-improvement related books but I did not. I wouldn't read books that I do not like either. It is the first step that she actually finds books interesting that she starts reading.
It is my bad that I woke up too late to see dad before he leaves. Did not even say bye before he left for work.
Hours passed really quick that it became 4pm where I had to leave for train. Mom sis and I were at Lotteria waiting for time to pass. When I was there with mom and as mom was asking quesitons, I wasn't really favourable of that moment as I thought she was asking too much questions. But why does life so complicated. When I am about to leave and as she began taking photos of me with sis and as I hugged her before leaving, I felt love. I felt love. For mom and my family. Sat down on the train and prayed to God, God, next time when I get back, I wish to talk more with my parents, I wish to share my thoughts and let them know about myself more and to learn more about my parents more. I wish to do that. I wish to have great communication with parents. I hope I can achieve that sometime. I will try and I am going to make it happen.
Another thing is as I was on the train, I realized there is no need for any envy or jealousy. I always knew this but I hoped that this time I could really get it changed. After all, I would miss the time that I was with this people and miss what I have missed. In years to come when I look back the memories I had here, I would miss myself being friendly and easy-going with everybody like how I did with Marcus.
Another day is going to come and I can't wait to see what will happen in days to come.
I love myself for having gone through this day and having learned each day.
Being a grown man is to being able to embrace more people in life. See the bigger picture and love the others. Love my family and Lord.
Amen.
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-464
5th Feb means I am down to one day to book in. Unlike my first leave where I was nervous since the 3rd and the 4th day of my one week holiday, I don't feel nervous or pressed for anything. I am rather happy to have this moment. I am happy for things happening around me right now.
Got up in the morning with full stomach at about 9am. I rushed into the toilet and emptied. Was feeling much better that I went back to my room to download some you know something that I hadn't watched for about 180days since my enlistment. Also watched the series of Walking Dead season 4.
When I was ready, I woke my parents up and they prepared breakfast for me. Dad's Samyang Noodle is the best noodle I ever eat of all time. I didn't like this Samyang noodle he cooked for me when I used to come back for holidays to Korea. However, this taste has become so nostalgic that this became my favourite noodle. As Taeyeon was going through diets, only dad and I ate. We then moved to the Jjimjilbang. That was when the real deal began. I knew my parents would suspect if I do not turn up quick. I rushed in and like how I expected, my dad came to find me.
Had a long sleep at the grand hall and went in to the sauna once or twice. Before heading back, mom asked me to go for scrubbing the body session. It was my first time going through that and it clearly felt weird. It made me feel as if I am the actress of the 50 shades. Yeah it clearly was weird. Got out and saw dad supervising the traffic at the car park. Some people just parked their cars for their own sake that other people can't drive their cars out. We then headed for dinner around our house at the Spicy stir-fried chicken house. Had wonderful meal with Makggeoli and when dad was shaking the makggeoli it made me flash through the times when I was working for the Auntie Kim's. That was when I learned a lot of things. Those moments were part a huge part of my uni life.
As we were walking back to home, another memory flashed through. Those were the moments when I was in here for holidays from school and that moment when I was here for like 100days and 7months before heading back to Singapore. It is all differen feeling to actually go through the same streets when i am only given three days. All moments count from now. As we walked, I thought, I will definitely take my break before we switch our house next year so we can have our last walk through the street that we shared so much memories in here. Our family since we got back from overseas had gone through so many moments through here. Hana switched her name to Taeyeon and she became a high school student from just a primary school kid. I grew up to become an enlisted soldier from a secondary school student grumbling for more. Dad and mom got older and older and maybe for sure their health should have aged too. That is what I live for. I care about them and they are on my hands to cater. As I was walking through with all these thoughts, I realized that these moments do not come very often. Us walking this street together this moment do not come pretty often. That was when I began to slow down to walk together with them. Holding the plastic bags heading back home for another time of beer and junk food.
Got home and I went to the Hwaseo Pri school located just right in front my house to call Jaeyeon. I could have called him in my sis's room but I was too shy to do that. We talked as he was going to enlist tomorrow. It could have been a great joy for me to see him being enlisted but he was only going for 4 weeks and he will be serving at the Senior Care center as he was judged as Pes D. Even if he went in as normal soldier that wouldn't be so much of great news for me as that would mean I only lose another friend that I can keep in contact with.
Got back home drank beer with chips and I didn't want to go back to my room for laptop although there was nothing much going on. I knew these moments do not come very often. I love mom dad and sis, and so do they. I waited for dad and mom to head to sleep and here I am typing my day in sister's room, wearing a jacket.
I am heading back to camp tomorrow and I only hope that as I go back, I have forgiven all. Going back with empty mind and loving will. That's all I want. I thank God for this another wonderful day and I love Lord.
Amen.
Got up in the morning with full stomach at about 9am. I rushed into the toilet and emptied. Was feeling much better that I went back to my room to download some you know something that I hadn't watched for about 180days since my enlistment. Also watched the series of Walking Dead season 4.
When I was ready, I woke my parents up and they prepared breakfast for me. Dad's Samyang Noodle is the best noodle I ever eat of all time. I didn't like this Samyang noodle he cooked for me when I used to come back for holidays to Korea. However, this taste has become so nostalgic that this became my favourite noodle. As Taeyeon was going through diets, only dad and I ate. We then moved to the Jjimjilbang. That was when the real deal began. I knew my parents would suspect if I do not turn up quick. I rushed in and like how I expected, my dad came to find me.
Had a long sleep at the grand hall and went in to the sauna once or twice. Before heading back, mom asked me to go for scrubbing the body session. It was my first time going through that and it clearly felt weird. It made me feel as if I am the actress of the 50 shades. Yeah it clearly was weird. Got out and saw dad supervising the traffic at the car park. Some people just parked their cars for their own sake that other people can't drive their cars out. We then headed for dinner around our house at the Spicy stir-fried chicken house. Had wonderful meal with Makggeoli and when dad was shaking the makggeoli it made me flash through the times when I was working for the Auntie Kim's. That was when I learned a lot of things. Those moments were part a huge part of my uni life.
As we were walking back to home, another memory flashed through. Those were the moments when I was in here for holidays from school and that moment when I was here for like 100days and 7months before heading back to Singapore. It is all differen feeling to actually go through the same streets when i am only given three days. All moments count from now. As we walked, I thought, I will definitely take my break before we switch our house next year so we can have our last walk through the street that we shared so much memories in here. Our family since we got back from overseas had gone through so many moments through here. Hana switched her name to Taeyeon and she became a high school student from just a primary school kid. I grew up to become an enlisted soldier from a secondary school student grumbling for more. Dad and mom got older and older and maybe for sure their health should have aged too. That is what I live for. I care about them and they are on my hands to cater. As I was walking through with all these thoughts, I realized that these moments do not come very often. Us walking this street together this moment do not come pretty often. That was when I began to slow down to walk together with them. Holding the plastic bags heading back home for another time of beer and junk food.
Got home and I went to the Hwaseo Pri school located just right in front my house to call Jaeyeon. I could have called him in my sis's room but I was too shy to do that. We talked as he was going to enlist tomorrow. It could have been a great joy for me to see him being enlisted but he was only going for 4 weeks and he will be serving at the Senior Care center as he was judged as Pes D. Even if he went in as normal soldier that wouldn't be so much of great news for me as that would mean I only lose another friend that I can keep in contact with.
Got back home drank beer with chips and I didn't want to go back to my room for laptop although there was nothing much going on. I knew these moments do not come very often. I love mom dad and sis, and so do they. I waited for dad and mom to head to sleep and here I am typing my day in sister's room, wearing a jacket.
I am heading back to camp tomorrow and I only hope that as I go back, I have forgiven all. Going back with empty mind and loving will. That's all I want. I thank God for this another wonderful day and I love Lord.
Amen.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-465
I hear the laughters, I hear the comments, I hear the quarrels and little tickles. This is home. This is where my root began from. This is where it all started.
After 36 days sine my first leave I am here at home again for my short 3days leave. Although this 3 days leave is really short, I am trying to make it as meaningful and useful as possible. It may not be as desirable in a way that I wasn't of a perfect mood from my bunk with the mates but yeah I am thankful to Lord for this day I am given as he gave me a break. He gave me a break to gain back my power to love the others.
Getting back home the only thought I had on the train was that I wanted to share a little joy to my parents. I wanted to spread some positive vibes to my family. I left my platoon late as my leave card wasn't on the spot. They printed new and I left reached Suwon at 11am. My mom was waiting for me and there was this thought in me that I should behave normal like how I behave to others too. I cannot leave this baby me to my parents for all my life. Thought this was a good opportunity. That night when I was upset at the admin room made me to trigger a change in my behavior. It wasn't working so great. It rather seemed like I wasn't on a good mood to my mom who was driving me to the temple. I was trying to think in all positive ways. After all, I had nothing much to do when I was at home. And greeting my dad's mom, in a way I respect my mom for respecting my dad's mom after all things that she went through.
However though, along the way, there were so many thoughts about how slow she was driving, parking and the matter of fact that we are at the temple. There were so many thoughts but I managed to control them down. I managed to get them down. For I knew that this was right.
As we were heading back home, we were really starving. I didn't have breakfast. Mom asked me several questions about what to eat and she asked me if i would want to go to Asheley Restuarant nearby. It was located at the Dongtan Metropolis. At first I said no in thought that I did not want to have any Western. However, after some thoughts I told my mom that I would want to eat at the Asheley. As we got there, my mom saw the heavy traffic and realized even if we get in, we will have to get queue number and etc. That was when I grumbled to mom that we should head back home. We left my army clothes at the laundry shop and had our lunch at the Gamjatang soup restaurant.
As we got back home, as I was using my laptop, I realized that Dongtan Metropolis was on the number one search list at Naver. I was just there man.. I knew something had happened when I saw it was number one. But I just hoped that it wasn't something to do with an accident. When I clicked and it loaded, I saw news that there was fire accident and 4 people had died from it. I was so terrified that I could have been in the accident too. I told mom about it and she was the one who was more surprised about this fact. She called my sis her friend dad talked about it.
I was playing FO3 and when late afternoon arrived, dad came back home. As dad came home, I stopped playing and we gathered at the living room. I was pretty awkward and mom was worried about my attitude that she was worried what if I was going through all those hardships that some of the soldiers located in the further side are going through such as bullying. She asked me tons of times if I had trouble with my bunk mates or my seniors. Everytime she ask me it makes me feel a little bit annoyed. It is because you know.. I may not feel it that way but when mom knows about what all had happened she might be worried or think in a wrong way. It could also be because I was lying in a way. But I don't think it is the best solution to tell mom about it. After all it is not bullying. It is me finding out how I am going to co-exist with people, not just Koreans but people. On top of that, I am not being bullied or being left out but more like being loved and cared for. It is unfair to let mom know about what is going on as she will only be worried after reading all those tear-triggering stories.
At night, I learned from my previous leave that if I leave the living room, they no loner continue the meal but just go for sleep. So I stayed. I stayed even though we had nothing to talk about. I stayed and see what will happen. We played Go-Stop and I was the winner after all. I learned the way to play and I emerged to be the winner. I earned \20000 and I bought my family a chicken. Walking outside to the shop with dad, it was such a wonderful experience. Listening to him father to son it was great. That was when I realized how I should be spending the rest of my leave. I want to know more about my family. Getting back home and drinking the Alcohol that I bought from the army, sis was going crazy with her song.
It was such a great day. I wish to spend such a lovely day with my family too tomorrow. I am glad that I am given this day for a break. I am ready to love them again. I will be stronger when I am back. I love God for this day and
Amen.
After 36 days sine my first leave I am here at home again for my short 3days leave. Although this 3 days leave is really short, I am trying to make it as meaningful and useful as possible. It may not be as desirable in a way that I wasn't of a perfect mood from my bunk with the mates but yeah I am thankful to Lord for this day I am given as he gave me a break. He gave me a break to gain back my power to love the others.
Getting back home the only thought I had on the train was that I wanted to share a little joy to my parents. I wanted to spread some positive vibes to my family. I left my platoon late as my leave card wasn't on the spot. They printed new and I left reached Suwon at 11am. My mom was waiting for me and there was this thought in me that I should behave normal like how I behave to others too. I cannot leave this baby me to my parents for all my life. Thought this was a good opportunity. That night when I was upset at the admin room made me to trigger a change in my behavior. It wasn't working so great. It rather seemed like I wasn't on a good mood to my mom who was driving me to the temple. I was trying to think in all positive ways. After all, I had nothing much to do when I was at home. And greeting my dad's mom, in a way I respect my mom for respecting my dad's mom after all things that she went through.
However though, along the way, there were so many thoughts about how slow she was driving, parking and the matter of fact that we are at the temple. There were so many thoughts but I managed to control them down. I managed to get them down. For I knew that this was right.
As we were heading back home, we were really starving. I didn't have breakfast. Mom asked me several questions about what to eat and she asked me if i would want to go to Asheley Restuarant nearby. It was located at the Dongtan Metropolis. At first I said no in thought that I did not want to have any Western. However, after some thoughts I told my mom that I would want to eat at the Asheley. As we got there, my mom saw the heavy traffic and realized even if we get in, we will have to get queue number and etc. That was when I grumbled to mom that we should head back home. We left my army clothes at the laundry shop and had our lunch at the Gamjatang soup restaurant.
As we got back home, as I was using my laptop, I realized that Dongtan Metropolis was on the number one search list at Naver. I was just there man.. I knew something had happened when I saw it was number one. But I just hoped that it wasn't something to do with an accident. When I clicked and it loaded, I saw news that there was fire accident and 4 people had died from it. I was so terrified that I could have been in the accident too. I told mom about it and she was the one who was more surprised about this fact. She called my sis her friend dad talked about it.
I was playing FO3 and when late afternoon arrived, dad came back home. As dad came home, I stopped playing and we gathered at the living room. I was pretty awkward and mom was worried about my attitude that she was worried what if I was going through all those hardships that some of the soldiers located in the further side are going through such as bullying. She asked me tons of times if I had trouble with my bunk mates or my seniors. Everytime she ask me it makes me feel a little bit annoyed. It is because you know.. I may not feel it that way but when mom knows about what all had happened she might be worried or think in a wrong way. It could also be because I was lying in a way. But I don't think it is the best solution to tell mom about it. After all it is not bullying. It is me finding out how I am going to co-exist with people, not just Koreans but people. On top of that, I am not being bullied or being left out but more like being loved and cared for. It is unfair to let mom know about what is going on as she will only be worried after reading all those tear-triggering stories.
At night, I learned from my previous leave that if I leave the living room, they no loner continue the meal but just go for sleep. So I stayed. I stayed even though we had nothing to talk about. I stayed and see what will happen. We played Go-Stop and I was the winner after all. I learned the way to play and I emerged to be the winner. I earned \20000 and I bought my family a chicken. Walking outside to the shop with dad, it was such a wonderful experience. Listening to him father to son it was great. That was when I realized how I should be spending the rest of my leave. I want to know more about my family. Getting back home and drinking the Alcohol that I bought from the army, sis was going crazy with her song.
It was such a great day. I wish to spend such a lovely day with my family too tomorrow. I am glad that I am given this day for a break. I am ready to love them again. I will be stronger when I am back. I love God for this day and
Amen.
Friday, February 3, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-466
Hey hey hey.. yeah what a day.
Everytime I be typing out this diary of my own, I know my mood. I know my day. I know how it went and how it has been.
You see, when there are days that things seem all so beautiful and wonderful those are the days that I would be lazy to type a diary for I am not in so much need for reflection. However, there are also times when I would just can't leave this cyber lounge without writing out this diary because of the day I had. The kind of day I had. And today.. is maybe one of those days.
One positive thing! Is that today, I am not here being upset due to some senior issues or complicated matter like that. I've learned to deal with my senior on my own and I've get used to the way I found out. Those are working and I am learning to co-exist. I am learning to live together with respect. That is one super great thing in here. I respect, I gain the respect either. Secondly, I am being loved by all. It is just that today when I got back, it was just that when all everybody were pointing at me and like laughing and stuff it just made me feel like I am being overly criticized by everybody. I didn't like how Daeeun would point at the things I do and say they are dirty. I was like kind of ashamed of those. It also made me feel like as if I am doing some things that I make my bunk mates disgusted. That was why I wasn't at a very good mood at first when he entered. Then, it was when they were looking at the prints I made from work that they start pointing out stuff about things and the mistakes and Daeeun asking me to go and print them again and saying things like he would go print it himself as if this is unacceptable. That was quite ashameful. But you see, you've decided to take it on your own. Like not talking it out to him but just taking it on my own. Because I do know that all those came out in love and I wasn't ready to take them. After all, they meant no harm. But I am in a riddle here. I am not sure if I should always take it or should I actually go approach him and say stuff that I do not like about him. I know things would be complicated or I don't know. If I just take in to myself all the time it may not be so good even for myself. If I go and talk it out to him I may be seen like someone who would tell people about what I don't like and being picky. I didn't want to be a picky person who will be hard to actually get along with.
Well, what if I say things I want to say right at the point when he does things. Yeah what if I do that. Well it could be pretty awkward for me to say that because he wouldn't take them seriously. I mean after all is it really something to be mad about or be angry about. Well, it could be something to be ashamed of but you see when things happen, if you don't think that it is reasonable you go say it. If they are reasonable then why not I have a laugh about it and go learn from it. Things are positive in those ways.
Yeah. Well, you know, it could be hard for me going back there and acting normal again but they are due to me thinking how they would be thinking about me. Those do not matter at all really. I've been the one who are ready to accept and it truly does not matter.
My day today will never come again. 2017's February third will never be back again. I am not letting it go. My day isn't over yet. I don't have to try so much. I've only got to be positive and get along and enjoy. That's all I need. I love them and they love me. I can't lose things just like that because of one silly moment. Those are all just one smiley moment in big picture that i see in years time.
I love myself and thank myself for this beautiful lesson-learned day
I love God for this day too.
I am not giving up this day. I love them and I love me.
Amen.
Everytime I be typing out this diary of my own, I know my mood. I know my day. I know how it went and how it has been.
You see, when there are days that things seem all so beautiful and wonderful those are the days that I would be lazy to type a diary for I am not in so much need for reflection. However, there are also times when I would just can't leave this cyber lounge without writing out this diary because of the day I had. The kind of day I had. And today.. is maybe one of those days.
One positive thing! Is that today, I am not here being upset due to some senior issues or complicated matter like that. I've learned to deal with my senior on my own and I've get used to the way I found out. Those are working and I am learning to co-exist. I am learning to live together with respect. That is one super great thing in here. I respect, I gain the respect either. Secondly, I am being loved by all. It is just that today when I got back, it was just that when all everybody were pointing at me and like laughing and stuff it just made me feel like I am being overly criticized by everybody. I didn't like how Daeeun would point at the things I do and say they are dirty. I was like kind of ashamed of those. It also made me feel like as if I am doing some things that I make my bunk mates disgusted. That was why I wasn't at a very good mood at first when he entered. Then, it was when they were looking at the prints I made from work that they start pointing out stuff about things and the mistakes and Daeeun asking me to go and print them again and saying things like he would go print it himself as if this is unacceptable. That was quite ashameful. But you see, you've decided to take it on your own. Like not talking it out to him but just taking it on my own. Because I do know that all those came out in love and I wasn't ready to take them. After all, they meant no harm. But I am in a riddle here. I am not sure if I should always take it or should I actually go approach him and say stuff that I do not like about him. I know things would be complicated or I don't know. If I just take in to myself all the time it may not be so good even for myself. If I go and talk it out to him I may be seen like someone who would tell people about what I don't like and being picky. I didn't want to be a picky person who will be hard to actually get along with.
Well, what if I say things I want to say right at the point when he does things. Yeah what if I do that. Well it could be pretty awkward for me to say that because he wouldn't take them seriously. I mean after all is it really something to be mad about or be angry about. Well, it could be something to be ashamed of but you see when things happen, if you don't think that it is reasonable you go say it. If they are reasonable then why not I have a laugh about it and go learn from it. Things are positive in those ways.
Yeah. Well, you know, it could be hard for me going back there and acting normal again but they are due to me thinking how they would be thinking about me. Those do not matter at all really. I've been the one who are ready to accept and it truly does not matter.
My day today will never come again. 2017's February third will never be back again. I am not letting it go. My day isn't over yet. I don't have to try so much. I've only got to be positive and get along and enjoy. That's all I need. I love them and they love me. I can't lose things just like that because of one silly moment. Those are all just one smiley moment in big picture that i see in years time.
I love myself and thank myself for this beautiful lesson-learned day
I love God for this day too.
I am not giving up this day. I love them and I love me.
Amen.
Thursday, February 2, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-467
It is the D-467 here in Daegu and after this night, I am only down to a day before me taking leave sweet back home.
For the past two days were well a little bit of struggle within me through times and well I had some improvements in myself too, like trying to love people. There indeed were.
I am happy that right now things are good. I am in good mood, I'm doing good with friends here and they love me. That is one great thing. However, it will be much better if I start accepting people around me and see the real and love them. That would be really awesome experience.
I am taking my leave on Saturday. Hopefully this imminent leave card would be out so I can leave on Saturday. I want to go back for a little while and be a joy to my family. Little joy would be fine too. Leave in great mood with great mind and share the great minds with mom too.
I am thankful for today I was given and will look forward to the very trying and learning day.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
For the past two days were well a little bit of struggle within me through times and well I had some improvements in myself too, like trying to love people. There indeed were.
I am happy that right now things are good. I am in good mood, I'm doing good with friends here and they love me. That is one great thing. However, it will be much better if I start accepting people around me and see the real and love them. That would be really awesome experience.
I am taking my leave on Saturday. Hopefully this imminent leave card would be out so I can leave on Saturday. I want to go back for a little while and be a joy to my family. Little joy would be fine too. Leave in great mood with great mind and share the great minds with mom too.
I am thankful for today I was given and will look forward to the very trying and learning day.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-469
It marks the 69th line of the days I am left with this army life.
You know, like I say most of the time in here, the time that's left do not matter so much. It is the quality of life I am getting here and the kinds of things I learn from in here that matters. And today was just one another day that I was given the opportunity to learn from the shortcomings I have.
You see just to list down the good things that happened to me today. Let us see.
I had great time clearing the garbage with Corporal Han. it was great. We talked and laughed and you know, it could have been the most worrying season of period but I managed it. Manged to get it away in style. Secondly, I had great time at the office with my senior Oh. I could have sme minor problems with him here and there but my positive attitude towards life made things much better. My attitude towards him made things clearly better. I am positive and I forgive people. I embrace people. That was the great things. Well, I played basketball with my senior Lim for the first time. It was great that he asked me out, it was great that we teamed up and played one happy game.
Alright, just about the negative or sort of things that I may not have been satisfied for today. Well, not that things were super bad in a way that I know my faults and I know my shortcomings. That is one really great thing. You know, I may not be the best suitable person for someone else. However, it doesn't mean that they are the worst or even bad quality of person. They aren't. Thus, I shouldn't deal with hatred or even jealousy. I see good in a person, don't take it such a way that oh no I am not the best person in here but see it in a way that how I could learn from that wonderful person. I guess that's how I should see my life as. Take easy and all are friends. We all are. There is no reason or need to see things in a harsh or competitive way. All are our friends.
It was my mistake that happened in a while but you know, it may not even be like mistakes but my heart knows it that I was being jealous or even hateful. Life is about forgiving embracing and learning. I guess today I learned. He is a great person. There is no need to think that things are happening right now and today is the very very most important day of my life where it will be the full highlights of my life, it is totally not. It is the overall big picture of my life that matters. Today we learn and tomorrow we learn too. We learn till die. I will do.
I am thankful for myself for rehabilitating again and learning from things. Hope I can see a more bright and positive and loving me.
Thank Lord for this lessonful day and I love you Lord.
Amen.
You know, like I say most of the time in here, the time that's left do not matter so much. It is the quality of life I am getting here and the kinds of things I learn from in here that matters. And today was just one another day that I was given the opportunity to learn from the shortcomings I have.
You see just to list down the good things that happened to me today. Let us see.
I had great time clearing the garbage with Corporal Han. it was great. We talked and laughed and you know, it could have been the most worrying season of period but I managed it. Manged to get it away in style. Secondly, I had great time at the office with my senior Oh. I could have sme minor problems with him here and there but my positive attitude towards life made things much better. My attitude towards him made things clearly better. I am positive and I forgive people. I embrace people. That was the great things. Well, I played basketball with my senior Lim for the first time. It was great that he asked me out, it was great that we teamed up and played one happy game.
Alright, just about the negative or sort of things that I may not have been satisfied for today. Well, not that things were super bad in a way that I know my faults and I know my shortcomings. That is one really great thing. You know, I may not be the best suitable person for someone else. However, it doesn't mean that they are the worst or even bad quality of person. They aren't. Thus, I shouldn't deal with hatred or even jealousy. I see good in a person, don't take it such a way that oh no I am not the best person in here but see it in a way that how I could learn from that wonderful person. I guess that's how I should see my life as. Take easy and all are friends. We all are. There is no reason or need to see things in a harsh or competitive way. All are our friends.
It was my mistake that happened in a while but you know, it may not even be like mistakes but my heart knows it that I was being jealous or even hateful. Life is about forgiving embracing and learning. I guess today I learned. He is a great person. There is no need to think that things are happening right now and today is the very very most important day of my life where it will be the full highlights of my life, it is totally not. It is the overall big picture of my life that matters. Today we learn and tomorrow we learn too. We learn till die. I will do.
I am thankful for myself for rehabilitating again and learning from things. Hope I can see a more bright and positive and loving me.
Thank Lord for this lessonful day and I love you Lord.
Amen.
Monday, January 30, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-470
Here, it marks the last day of the 470th border.
Yes, it is clearly far off. But we are reaching for that end although it is very blurry right now.
Today was an extension of holidays. Thus, this week will be soon off. Only four days left for this week. There will be garbage cleaning this week, which had made my platoon life a little bit intriguing but I am not afraid. I do my work when I have to do. I stay positive and forgiving to my friends. That's how I learned from the previous days.
Well, I guess today I've got not much to jot about. Today was old normal days. Maybe, I've got to see things more positive and in a clearer way. Seeing the real not the stereotype or with jealousy. That is just one thing that I've been working on since I got here. That maybe you know, what if I am not afraid of getting closer to him. What if I do believe that I am not afraid for challenges. What if I start thinking that things are for better when I'm closer to him. That could be one thing that I could be thinking.
Well, that's all for today and let's stay bright and positive and be forgiving. Embrace all.
Love myself for living today and Love God.
Amen.
Yes, it is clearly far off. But we are reaching for that end although it is very blurry right now.
Today was an extension of holidays. Thus, this week will be soon off. Only four days left for this week. There will be garbage cleaning this week, which had made my platoon life a little bit intriguing but I am not afraid. I do my work when I have to do. I stay positive and forgiving to my friends. That's how I learned from the previous days.
Well, I guess today I've got not much to jot about. Today was old normal days. Maybe, I've got to see things more positive and in a clearer way. Seeing the real not the stereotype or with jealousy. That is just one thing that I've been working on since I got here. That maybe you know, what if I am not afraid of getting closer to him. What if I do believe that I am not afraid for challenges. What if I start thinking that things are for better when I'm closer to him. That could be one thing that I could be thinking.
Well, that's all for today and let's stay bright and positive and be forgiving. Embrace all.
Love myself for living today and Love God.
Amen.
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-471
It is the night of Daegu.
Today was Sunday, and today marks the second last day before the 4days of holidays end.
Well, I could say I had lots of football and maybe joy.
There should be reasons why I say 'maybe joy'. Well, I guess I didn't have fully enjoyed the process.
During these times of holidays there were less works but more interaction with the bunkmates. Of course there were some quarrels and my inner hmm not sure how I could phrase it but well yeah, I did have osme hard time.
But to think about myself to think in a way that could lead me to survival and good life, I could think all the positive things that happens to me. Firstly, I got lots of them caring and coming for me. Second, I'm in good relation with all. Thirdly, I have lots of football mates and seniors who do like me. Well there are so many reasons to be happy yet when I'm on the ground or off the ground, some weird thoughts do arise on my mind that make me to be confused, chaotic and worried. Well, it is simple fact that I've got to stop thinking. I've got to cut the thoughts. There are no reasons to think so much about stuff when especially I am leading a good life.
Pointers are alive in this army. Pointers do not need to be there to make my army life special but indeed it could be something I can look out for when I'm in here. Of course my main goal in here is to love all and see the reality. That is just one hard thing to do in here especially when I am challenged but things are seemingly good. I am thinking in positive ways and I do forgive and embrace people. That is just one true and real thing.I live in my faith. That is what matters.
Well, maybe I could try improving my football stuff and read lots of books, indulge myself into well somewhat of football related or academics like politics and economics. Also, I could look out for my holidays that are soon to be coming and to study something that I could look out to get my certificate.
Well, I have something to ponder about I guess. Like making differences every single day. But afterall, being alive and delightful are what matters.
Thank you Lord for being with me here today and
Amen.
Today was Sunday, and today marks the second last day before the 4days of holidays end.
Well, I could say I had lots of football and maybe joy.
There should be reasons why I say 'maybe joy'. Well, I guess I didn't have fully enjoyed the process.
During these times of holidays there were less works but more interaction with the bunkmates. Of course there were some quarrels and my inner hmm not sure how I could phrase it but well yeah, I did have osme hard time.
But to think about myself to think in a way that could lead me to survival and good life, I could think all the positive things that happens to me. Firstly, I got lots of them caring and coming for me. Second, I'm in good relation with all. Thirdly, I have lots of football mates and seniors who do like me. Well there are so many reasons to be happy yet when I'm on the ground or off the ground, some weird thoughts do arise on my mind that make me to be confused, chaotic and worried. Well, it is simple fact that I've got to stop thinking. I've got to cut the thoughts. There are no reasons to think so much about stuff when especially I am leading a good life.
Pointers are alive in this army. Pointers do not need to be there to make my army life special but indeed it could be something I can look out for when I'm in here. Of course my main goal in here is to love all and see the reality. That is just one hard thing to do in here especially when I am challenged but things are seemingly good. I am thinking in positive ways and I do forgive and embrace people. That is just one true and real thing.I live in my faith. That is what matters.
Well, maybe I could try improving my football stuff and read lots of books, indulge myself into well somewhat of football related or academics like politics and economics. Also, I could look out for my holidays that are soon to be coming and to study something that I could look out to get my certificate.
Well, I have something to ponder about I guess. Like making differences every single day. But afterall, being alive and delightful are what matters.
Thank you Lord for being with me here today and
Amen.
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