Dawns in Daegu - D-422

Sometimes, it does make me feel like why can't my senior person be like my mates' seniors. Comparing them with one another. It happens pretty often whenever I see how normal the other platoons are carrying on and how please my mates seemed to be. It also makes me think of such when I am down and yeah most of the times or at times when I don't feel that bad about my platoon, my conclusion would always be that even when I am at other platoon, there would be a problem of their own in that platoon either.

Well, yeah, I had a day that I took time to share my thoughts that I had been keeping. It happened with me having been treated badly at the assembly two days ago and also with me seeing him trying to fool me around in front of our bosses from our office. Well, when I had said that to him, and when his mate fcl Kim agreed with what I had been saying, it felt great as there was someone who would agree with my thought. However, after a while, it didn't feel good indeed as going against him and sharing my thought isn't good at times. He does not understand those at most of the times. Well, I only shared my thoughts a few times. He doesn't get it. He's point of view are different from the ones that get it. He doesn't see it because all the time, those pov's of the committers are different from those who get it.

It was pretty much complicated feelings with the start of this Key Resolve trainings. It was a little like I was getting left and my mate was getting closer to them and my seniors were not easy to get closer to. Also, having been treated like such a way from him, things were just you know reluctant for me. I do not like it all the time when I get down because of his actions. Yet, I do not want to report these to the officers as I do not want to be known for this from the others, I do not want to be failed in this challenge, i want to withstand this and learn to live along with person like him. I do not want to think that all these are impossible. Because I want to be a person stronger than this. I want to be able to withstand it.

Yet still, it is important that I be the right person. It doesn't matter if I get closer to him or what, it's got to be that I be person of the right junior's mind. That is what matters.

I get into a lot of thoughts. I am going to make a streetewise decision in this. If I get too hard  that I can't take it, I am going to use that measure. But if there are ways that I could solve in a smarter way, I am going to deploy that.

I love myself and Love God

Thanks for this day too

Amen.