Dawns in Daegu - D-405

Well, there are reasons for me getting down here at the cyber room right after my futsal and dinner.

There were some things that I had to clear in my mind in order for me to move on more clearly and well yeah with light heart.

I had to jot down some stuff.

Like you know, what had happened today and maybe recently.

I think it is wrong that I behave wrong to people.

Especially if I have the wrong reasons.

When Hyunjoon asked me why I was behaving weird to him recently during the duty last night, I felt so awkward during that moments.

I didn't want to tell him the true reason of to what had happened. It wasn't of his faults but more to my thinking. It was the mixture of thoughts that made me into such.

And yeah, maybe it's not just him that I tend to act wrong in my life. There were lots of moments in my life and its not just my outside life but also in here. I treated some people differently at times due to my mixture of too much overly thinkings.

Those thoughts do make me to feel angry because those are the thoughts that I am creating in my mind. Those do not make sense, yet the thinking process in me do make it in a way that it is really like that.

I hope i could start thinking less and maybe start liking people more.

And yeah, well today, it was those times a little while that I start making up my minds in me and start judging people and going through so much mixture of feelings which aren't actually necessary. I guess those are really not helpful for me.

Playing futsal today was hard for me too. It is the pressure of people that they would laugh on me when my touches or shoots go wrong. It was a little pressurizing and stressful too. It's like futsal became something stressful for me now. Talking and interacting with seniors like Corp Char and Jung was getting harder and harder and also I fonded how wooyoung hyung would so well make fun and hang out with people with such laughter. I guess that's what the true joy of futsal gathering for friendlies should be like. I know that people do that or laugh because I am getting loved or so but yeah it was hard for me getting some of the criticism like you know when Corp lim came down scolding vulgar and stuff it was yeah a little hard for me to accept as when he did that it did hurt. But yeah it's true that I do take in words too harshly at times. Like take it in as some serious matters at times. It's okay if I knock it away with it.

Well, I had one hard day today but I know there are brighter days to come in life. That's why I am alright with it and I can move on because I can learn from these.

I am fine with today.

I am eventually going to get better and learn after all.

I thank God for this day and hope I could apply my lessons.

Thank Lord and

Amen.