So yeah, here comes another day of me typing out my story in this blog on this very night.
Well. my feelings.. Hmm I do not know. But yeah there are challenges all the time but its really about how I could control them and settle myself to be a settled stronger person I am.
Like you know at times when there are sports events and where there are time that I could be at fault there are times where I get on the edge of the sword, (well thats how I may feel but it may not be exactly that way) I do feel nervous and a little bit annoyed. Very annoyed at times actually.
Like when we played jokgu yesterday with my mates and some others, it was a little annoying for me at start as I wasn't trained properly and couldn't receive balls and stuff and it was a little hard playing as people got on my nerves although those could be just for fun and stuff. Yeah, I am learning to deal and they are solved when I be postiive so are fine.
There could be some moody days where I just don't want to be with these people him and who and I've learned to deal with such situations. Just be nice don't saybad things when I do not have anything good to say and rest. Just let that mood swing away as they are lovely after all. That's one thing I learned to deal in here.
And yeah, had a good time playing jokgu, I mean I put a point in learning all the time. My sadness that I couldn't play any further as the rain was too heavy.
Got back and was bathing just when corp Yoon came in to ask for change of duty timing. I was having such a lovely time tomorrow morning and he wanted to change that and i was a little unreasonable. I refused to do so but I felt a little guilty not helping him out. He even bought me a cheeetos at P.X and he is my platoon senior. Yeah, so I went to the duty plan sheet to see if I could find any way out for him and that was just when he came in to give some knocks and shits and yeah I didn't feel good as he was keep hitting and kicking. It wasn't like thosestrong punches but still I didn't feel good about it. It was good that I told him to stop firmly and well I am learning to deal with different people and I guess it is meaningful that I could learn and also learn to forget about such incidents as after all thinking rewinding of such incidents do not help after all.
Once again, I am back in here in this place. I will not forget the day I am having in here andI will not let go the time that I get in here either. I thank God that yesterday when I went to seminar room to study, i managed to finish what I wanted to, even though I wasn't in a very good mood.
Thank God for making me alive, please let others feel alive too and know you.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-394
Been such a long time since my last post in here.
There was some eleven days gap ever since I last posted in here. I am now using different keyboard different venue and monitor here in Daegu typing out my 394th story. And Yes! I've broke my 400 wall. May the rest of my army life and 300 line be a more positive, learning and caring ones and also more mature one as an adult, a fcl and a senior.
Yeah, I guess time has really flew ever since I enlisted. I mean, there were times when I was merely a private who would want to be cared by the seniors and was a new experience and an awkward experience for me to care for the juniors but yet look at me now. Although I love interacting with the seniors, I do love the time I spend with my juniors because I am learning to be comfortable with my juniors.
Well, these are due to the thankful people I have. What a great bosses in my logistics office who inspire me to become a person who I'd want to be and also make me care-free of my life in this platoon. My mate and senoirs in this 6th platoon who give me no worries but joy. And there comes my bunk mates who I'd rather say I feel sorry and thankful than anyone else. They take me for who I am and they are willing to be in there for me. Well, not sure how I am so sulky today towards my mates when I am having an outing right now here at the Dongsung ro.
It was a sulky morning ever since I woke up this morning. As I got up, there was this feeling in the air that I wanted to be cared and be interested to others for. I don't know why but fear was in the air. Uncertainty overwhelmed. And yeah. Maybe along the process of forming ideas on how this outing would be like among my mates Yohan, Jaemin and Jihoon, there did present some conflicts, such as what transporation medium should we be taking and also like what we are going to do when we get there. And yeah we got out and my feelings was a little bit worried. Well, I did try to control my mood trying to think positively and praying but yeah it sure was hard to get through a little but yeah I am trying to hold myself in here.
After all, I do know that this short time would never be back again. So i be thankful for this moment in here. As I do not know when this would come again with these people, at this moment and all.
So once again I thank God for this blessed day.
I pray.. and
Amen.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-405
Well, there are reasons for me getting down here at the cyber room right after my futsal and dinner.
There were some things that I had to clear in my mind in order for me to move on more clearly and well yeah with light heart.
I had to jot down some stuff.
Like you know, what had happened today and maybe recently.
I think it is wrong that I behave wrong to people.
Especially if I have the wrong reasons.
When Hyunjoon asked me why I was behaving weird to him recently during the duty last night, I felt so awkward during that moments.
I didn't want to tell him the true reason of to what had happened. It wasn't of his faults but more to my thinking. It was the mixture of thoughts that made me into such.
And yeah, maybe it's not just him that I tend to act wrong in my life. There were lots of moments in my life and its not just my outside life but also in here. I treated some people differently at times due to my mixture of too much overly thinkings.
Those thoughts do make me to feel angry because those are the thoughts that I am creating in my mind. Those do not make sense, yet the thinking process in me do make it in a way that it is really like that.
I hope i could start thinking less and maybe start liking people more.
And yeah, well today, it was those times a little while that I start making up my minds in me and start judging people and going through so much mixture of feelings which aren't actually necessary. I guess those are really not helpful for me.
Playing futsal today was hard for me too. It is the pressure of people that they would laugh on me when my touches or shoots go wrong. It was a little pressurizing and stressful too. It's like futsal became something stressful for me now. Talking and interacting with seniors like Corp Char and Jung was getting harder and harder and also I fonded how wooyoung hyung would so well make fun and hang out with people with such laughter. I guess that's what the true joy of futsal gathering for friendlies should be like. I know that people do that or laugh because I am getting loved or so but yeah it was hard for me getting some of the criticism like you know when Corp lim came down scolding vulgar and stuff it was yeah a little hard for me to accept as when he did that it did hurt. But yeah it's true that I do take in words too harshly at times. Like take it in as some serious matters at times. It's okay if I knock it away with it.
Well, I had one hard day today but I know there are brighter days to come in life. That's why I am alright with it and I can move on because I can learn from these.
I am fine with today.
I am eventually going to get better and learn after all.
I thank God for this day and hope I could apply my lessons.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
There were some things that I had to clear in my mind in order for me to move on more clearly and well yeah with light heart.
I had to jot down some stuff.
Like you know, what had happened today and maybe recently.
I think it is wrong that I behave wrong to people.
Especially if I have the wrong reasons.
When Hyunjoon asked me why I was behaving weird to him recently during the duty last night, I felt so awkward during that moments.
I didn't want to tell him the true reason of to what had happened. It wasn't of his faults but more to my thinking. It was the mixture of thoughts that made me into such.
And yeah, maybe it's not just him that I tend to act wrong in my life. There were lots of moments in my life and its not just my outside life but also in here. I treated some people differently at times due to my mixture of too much overly thinkings.
Those thoughts do make me to feel angry because those are the thoughts that I am creating in my mind. Those do not make sense, yet the thinking process in me do make it in a way that it is really like that.
I hope i could start thinking less and maybe start liking people more.
And yeah, well today, it was those times a little while that I start making up my minds in me and start judging people and going through so much mixture of feelings which aren't actually necessary. I guess those are really not helpful for me.
Playing futsal today was hard for me too. It is the pressure of people that they would laugh on me when my touches or shoots go wrong. It was a little pressurizing and stressful too. It's like futsal became something stressful for me now. Talking and interacting with seniors like Corp Char and Jung was getting harder and harder and also I fonded how wooyoung hyung would so well make fun and hang out with people with such laughter. I guess that's what the true joy of futsal gathering for friendlies should be like. I know that people do that or laugh because I am getting loved or so but yeah it was hard for me getting some of the criticism like you know when Corp lim came down scolding vulgar and stuff it was yeah a little hard for me to accept as when he did that it did hurt. But yeah it's true that I do take in words too harshly at times. Like take it in as some serious matters at times. It's okay if I knock it away with it.
Well, I had one hard day today but I know there are brighter days to come in life. That's why I am alright with it and I can move on because I can learn from these.
I am fine with today.
I am eventually going to get better and learn after all.
I thank God for this day and hope I could apply my lessons.
Thank Lord and
Amen.
Sunday, April 2, 2017
Dawns in Daegu - D-408
What a long time it had been almost been about a week not writing my story in here.
Well well not sure how my status was like back when I had written my latest story in here things have passed and time flows and yes we move on.
Right now, I guess major events would be that I lost a game for my bunk at starcraft and futsal competition. Starcraft was just for fun so it was alright but when I lost that futsal match it made me feel like losing becoming a sort of habit in me. I didn't want to admit but I took this futsal tournament a little seriously than others would. I mean, my form was coming up and I did want to prove to people how I could play better as a team. Especially with memories of me winning 5 streaks in futsal when we had like 18 people that night, that memory did help me feel like I could do this too as a team again.
It did not turn out to be the same like that night. It was a little different. I was trying to prove a point rather than enjoying as a team. It did not matter whether we would win or not though. I mean i meant it when i said i only hope we could enjoy this game. Lose was pretty serious. It was a heavy loss of 3goals difference. 2-1 was okay in the first half of it but conceding two straight goals at the start of the 2nd half was crucial. It did make us feel daunted.
After that day, it was like I lost something in my life. All that I had been looking out for through the past weeks had just gone like that in a loss. A heavy lose.
Playing futsal with seniors yesterday didn't give me much joy too. I couldn't enjoy to full. Well I know time would solve these either.
Well, after that day I was a little reluctant that I was talking so slowly and being a little needy and clingy. Yeah i was indeed. A little far from being the active and bright. Also, was a little different in behavior when especially Yang would prefer to talk to other guys than I did. Okay this does sound really gay but yeah I was a little disappointed that compared to how much I liked him it was not the same amount of love I received. But its true yeah that when people do have different behaviors in relationships. It does not matter whether they or he likes other people more or not it is about how much I do for the people. That's what matters the most and how I stay up right as a person. After all, I learn.
Thank God for this lovely day
Ane Amen.
Well well not sure how my status was like back when I had written my latest story in here things have passed and time flows and yes we move on.
Right now, I guess major events would be that I lost a game for my bunk at starcraft and futsal competition. Starcraft was just for fun so it was alright but when I lost that futsal match it made me feel like losing becoming a sort of habit in me. I didn't want to admit but I took this futsal tournament a little seriously than others would. I mean, my form was coming up and I did want to prove to people how I could play better as a team. Especially with memories of me winning 5 streaks in futsal when we had like 18 people that night, that memory did help me feel like I could do this too as a team again.
It did not turn out to be the same like that night. It was a little different. I was trying to prove a point rather than enjoying as a team. It did not matter whether we would win or not though. I mean i meant it when i said i only hope we could enjoy this game. Lose was pretty serious. It was a heavy loss of 3goals difference. 2-1 was okay in the first half of it but conceding two straight goals at the start of the 2nd half was crucial. It did make us feel daunted.
After that day, it was like I lost something in my life. All that I had been looking out for through the past weeks had just gone like that in a loss. A heavy lose.
Playing futsal with seniors yesterday didn't give me much joy too. I couldn't enjoy to full. Well I know time would solve these either.
Well, after that day I was a little reluctant that I was talking so slowly and being a little needy and clingy. Yeah i was indeed. A little far from being the active and bright. Also, was a little different in behavior when especially Yang would prefer to talk to other guys than I did. Okay this does sound really gay but yeah I was a little disappointed that compared to how much I liked him it was not the same amount of love I received. But its true yeah that when people do have different behaviors in relationships. It does not matter whether they or he likes other people more or not it is about how much I do for the people. That's what matters the most and how I stay up right as a person. After all, I learn.
Thank God for this lovely day
Ane Amen.
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