Dawns in Daegu - D-495

Here we are, writing out my diary of the 5th of January.

After writing out a story of myself and reflecting how I was behaving towards my life and the surroundings hmm I don't think there was certain changes or specific differences my mind had from yesterday's me.

Got back to bunk after writing my diary out slept in a little bit of uncertainty. Woke up early to report for my duty. Had great time chatting during the duty with my senior Yoon Sung-hyun. He had a lot of information about things going around in here.

During those duties, we always get two people to go for duties and one is the senior and the other is always the junior. As a first class private, I still get in as the junior for most of my duties. It was the first duty that I served with Sergeant Won Jongmin that I was so impressed and began to see what kind of senior server I wanted to be. Sergeant Won was full of information about the things going around and he did teach me in every details. I was so warmed by his gestures. Although it always remains as a huge memory for the juniors for they were usually impressed, the seniors often tend not to remember the juniors. Likewise for Sergeant Won, he did not remember me nor did we become a very good friends afterwards. However, after serving with many seniors I began to figure out what a senior server I wanted to be like. Of those I have served, I loved how I served with Corporal Son who was warming and comforting, I also liked serving with Sergeant Oh who was full of stories to tell throughout the 2 hours of duty, loved how Sergeant Ahn was smiling at my flatters and being cute, admired the knowledge that I was able to gain from Corporal Yoon and sergeant Won, and was inspired by First Class private Cho Gun-hee who gave the vibe that he was not so into those Military cultures of formality.

After the duty, I called my mom. It was really a short while talking to mom. My sister was changing her name so, she was asking for my opinion. I feel what my sister prefers the most is more important. But if she was going to get names like Taeyeon for 400 bucks I do not see the worth of paying them. However still, if her fortune may be believe to be better on those beliefs by changing her name, I hope she would do what it takes to change her name.

Got back to the bunk and my other bunk mates came back and were laughing at Jihoon's status. We all have this board in front our bunk doors where we place our current whereabouts. The administrator gave out this new stickers for us which showed our name, phone number and our hometown. Jihoon who bragged of being himself to be from Seoul, happend to be from Chuncheon. It was hillarious but you know, whenever he came along I just did not like how he was going to lead the situation and make jokes of how he wanted things to go like. It was his image that he wanted to make but I just did not like how obvious he was going to make his image to look like. But I understand that what I can grab the most out of this place is to get good friends, have great memories and time and serve with respect. However though this is the tricky part. It is like we are having like a common goal and I do not like it because he is getting more favor from my bunk mates. Well maybe this is why I tend to hate him but you see I can't live in competition for such all the while. When I am out there after army I will surely face all kinds of people who would have same goal or same characteristics as me and it is clear that I can't avoid all those people in my life. I need to learn to adopt them too. But changing my mind in whole course of it, why my goal got to be being liked by my bunk mates? Why can't I love them for who they are and do not think about how I am going to be loved and all. That is the main source of my happiness for sure but loving people is as important as being loved. And do not care about how he is getting along but just see him as one of my friends. This could be hard but you see... years later when I look back this would indeed seem like a trivial matter. Like just remember the case of me in class with Marcus. He, joining my football CCA and performing better and even heading to the A-div made me to hate him so much. However, just looking back now it is really nothing. I embrace him as my friend and he is a great friend. Looking back, it is nothing. I just wish if I could turn back in time, how I'd wish I would have just taken him as one of my friends. Maybe this is what I should do and behave. Learning from those past experiences, maybe I could change the way I look at things. Please Lord, I know it is about me and myself but help me to actually love him. Please Lord. Like just miraculously in one day I do not see how this would go right but I hope I do it right and make it right. I do not have to love him but at least please I hope to see without any blur sight. I want to see him clearly with my right eyes. Decide with my right mind...

Then our Logistics department headed to our offices. It was a busy morning learning how to print from Corporal Yoon and cleaning the office. All of the professional soldiers left for meeting and I was all alone in the office. Read my book a little while, and was thinking of spending my whole morning office hours in there until like 12am as i did not want a long intermission time with my bunk mates. I did not like those short term of period. For whatever reasons. Although Mr. Joo told me to head for lunch that I had to come back, we had our lunch of course, talking about Jihoon's forgery in his hometown. There was another training going on today so we gathered at the seminar room at 12:40. Our logistics department had our own seperate corner. We were on our own the five of us. As we were chatting I was so concerned about his presence. I did not like myself being that way. Getting back to our bunk, I changed my clothes and lied on the bed watching movies with Seunghoon. It was movie called Room 13, I just remember the female lead was long and pretty.

Woke up in the morning sluggishly realizing it was already 7:17. I could have been into trouble for waking up later than that as I had morning duty with Corporal Seungjoon at 8am. Changed up and reported for duty chatted with him for 2 hours and now I am here writing out my diary of the day. What a day it was and what a day it will be. I have long to go, and I am making up to that promise I made to myself. Really. I pray to God in hope.

Amen.