Dawns in Daegu - D-484

Here I am again at the cyber lounge typing my diary of the day.

What a day it was. I put a meaning in such that I tried. In a way that I tried not to procrastinate and also to change my perspectives.

Yesterday at 01:00, corporal Son who was on the Admin room duty woke me up to watch football together. I brought my snacks and coffee to the admin room. It was nice and worthy. It is always enjoyable chatting with him.

Watched the match between Manu and Liverpool and had chats with snacks along the way. When it was half time period, we turned the channel to the movie channels and there was 50 shades of Grey on show, so we overlooked whether the officer was sleeping or not and watched in deep breath.

It was overwhelming. It showed full body of Annastacia Steele. Wow. Anyways, it didn't really matter.

What happened was when I got back to the bunk to fall asleep, I woke up again at 5am realizing that something was wrong. I badly wanted to vomit. I rushed to the toilet realizing this can't go pass just because I was lazy to do so. I got to the toilet, vomitted without wasting time and spend about 30minutes in there shitting and vomitting. I guess its all the chips I ate at the admin room while I was watching the 50 shades.

Woke up for assembly and you know tried to keep that in mind that I, am willing to forgive and forget the past. I am willing to go on. It wasn't that hard. Things went easy. It was only when we reported for work at the afternoon that things started to be challenging. I was given tasks and I couldn't do it properly. It was the same things I happened to be clumsy at. It was using knife to cut papers without single stains. It was difficult. He began mocking like he used to do. It was pretty much insulting and annoying if I feel. However, I just had this in mind that I am making it happen. I remembered that phrase that I am going to make it happen. I am not just going to get angry and all and be fussed up and repeat all over and over again all the time. I decided to think slightly in a different way. I thought that whatever mocks he was doing, as long as I could learn from him and knew that he was better than me in this way, I got to admit it and learn. As long as I can learn every small things I am improving as a person. He told me that the way I was holding the knife was wrong.

That was when I came up with some of the lessons.

Lesson number one, always try to learn if it does improve me no matter what.

Lesson number two, as long as he makes me to think and learn, that is a better senior than whoever makes me feel more comfortable, for I learn out of my uncomfort.

Lesson number three, seek and do things that I got to do. Likewise for today, I realized I didn't know very well about printers. I asked for his help and he was willing to tell me. As long as I learn and improve those are what matter. As long as I am opened up to more opportunities and more chances that does mean I have more chance to improve and do better. These are some of the things that I can deal with my own calculation I have for fairness.

Got back to the bunk and you know of course, after all those my deep in heart may not feel as good as times where I would be happy and high. It will be different. However, it is on my own hand to deal with it seperately. After all, I am learning. I am keep going to learn. I am not afraid of what's to come. I will learn and improve anyway.

I hope I can love him more i mean them more and see things clearly. Love myself for being who am I and hope I can love more people purely. Thank Lord and

Amen.