Dawns in Daegu - D-500(+1)

It is 10:41 in my sister's room at my home in Suwon...

I am down to 9hours and 20minutes to get back to my camp.

I am not sure how I am feeling now. I do feel nauseous but maybe this is all due to me not having bathed and packed my stuff to get back.

Guess, it was Wednesday, when I had that urge to create a blog to jot down my stories in army.

I realized, writing down the blog after every tiring night during that 100 midnights in Suwon period was what made me lead on.

Likewise, even at this point when I am down to 9hours to book in, I feel relieved as I type down my memories in this blog.

Reading 100 Midnights in Suwon, made me realize blog is something that I can flash back to... something I can compared myself to current me and the 19 year old me.

7 days of my first leave flew really fast. I don't feel like I have done anything much as I did not travel nor did I meet a lot of people, but it was indeed worthy.

Engraving new memories to my past memories...

Just buy turning on my own old laptop, not being used to this small screen... playing Fifa with my old good mate Wei Yang... seeing how same the world is going on out there.

Met my best bud Jun at Keondae entrance station where we had a night out a year back.

Although the night did not go successful with out objective to get a girl at the bar but we still made new memories we can talk about in years to come.

On Tuesday, I met my seniors in army. We had a few bottle of drinks and went back home peacefully.

The first day of my leave, began by greeting my grandma who is already dead. Mom and I bowed in Buddihsm way.

Mom was my companion all this time. She drove me everywhere with her new car. Although her parking skills were horrid at times, if she did not drive me all along, I wouldn't have gone to places.

On Monday, we also went to this naming center where they get paid to create name for people.

My mom wanted to change my sister's name as her Chinese characters for her name weren't right.

It would be weird to actually call her with other names than Hana but we will get used to it.

Wednesday and Thursday just flew past by as I went around with mom eating good food.

I also visited the Central Library that I used to go so often back in my O-level retaking years.

That was when I realized, this Library was the strongest memory that I ever have about my home.

All the path from home to library were memories and as I stepped on, my footmark was printed on the snowy ground.

Took some photos along the way so I would leave this place as a memory in years to come.

Skyped with Amy on Wednesday although I couldn't talk as I was mom would think I am being weird.

I am not sure if having conversation with her make her feel comfortable or make her feel that we are communicating but nevertheless I always enjoy my time when I talk to her.

Hearing Singlish in more than 4 months made me even more nostalgic. This was where I used to stay and those are all my buddies in my youth.

Nostalgia made me look through my old friends. It started with old photos I kept in my laptop and lead to Sinyoung who was my old friend.

She and I used to study together and forget our dark times through during my O-level retaking period.

I was all alone and preferred to be alone but she came through and we became really good friends.

Although I had this feeling for her as a lady for a short period of time, I did realize she is only as good for friends.

But, we are not even talking at this point.. It was somewhat of my mistake. I was drunk once and I called her on the phone casually. She told me not to call her when I was drunk as she had traumas.

I did not understand. I was more for hoping that she would accept my behavior. Quarrels happend and although we did apologize to each other as we knew we had too much time together to lose one another, we are not talking anymore.

I do miss her pretty often. When I see my bunk mates talking on the phone to their female friends in the bunk, I do hope I had a friend that I could talk to on the phone so casually. I was so in a deep thought whether I should try and approach to talk to her again or not but I did  not.. I knew that what's gone was gone.

7 days past really quick just like this. Well, I guess I played lots of FIFA, maybe had good time hanging out and eating great food. The greatest time was when I was at Sauna with my mom. I was lying in this hot sauna and slowly thought about some stuff...

I had stuff before I got out for leave. I had some quarrel with my squad's seniors. They mistreated me I felt bad so I ignored them either and we had tried to have talks about it and it did not really work out. But you know what.. as I was lying in there, it made me realize it's no big deal after all. I mean yeah I was mistreated and I was really angry but they did try to talk about it and said sorry so that's it. I don't have to think about next time. This problems seem like major problems that I had dealt with even when I was out there in College.

What's important is that I keep my faith. That's just how I see things.

I had a really good break and I guess I can start anew.

500 days to count baby.

I can make this time real useful.

Thank you for being me and love you.